Gareth David-Lloyd credited as playing...
Ianto Jones
- Ianto Jones: It's all over.
- Owen Harper: [pauses] Let's all have sex.
- Ianto Jones: [deadpan] And I thought the End of the World couldn't get any worse.
- Ianto Jones: They know more about this place than I do.
- [bangs fist on table]
- Ianto Jones: Nobody knows more than I do!
- Ianto Jones: Just us... in this room... for as long as it takes. Terrifying.
- Captain Jack Harkness: Really?
- Ianto Jones: Absolutely. Shivers down my spine.
- Captain Jack Harkness: You don't look scared.
- Ianto Jones: Well, it... passed.
- [Jack raises fist in a mock threatening manner and growls]
- Captain Jack Harkness: Have a little faith. With a dashing hero like me on the case, how can we fail?
- Ianto Jones: He is dashing. You have to give him that.
- Toshiko Sato: No, I can't just hook something up! The entire telephone network is down.
- Owen Harper: What about a mobile connection?
- Toshiko Sato: [slowly] The. Entire. Telephone. Network. Is down!
- Ianto Jones: Mobiles, landlines, tin cans with bits of string, everything, absolutely everything: no phones, phones all broken.
- [holds up hand in imitation of telephone]
- Ianto Jones: Hello? Anyone there? No! Cause the phones aren't working!
- Beth: [to Jack] Will it hurt?
- Captain Jack Harkness: Yes.
- Beth: Your bedside manner's rubbish.
- Gwen Cooper: You should see his manners in bed. They're atrocious!... apparently. So I've heard.
- Ianto Jones: Oh they are. I remember this one time...
- Captain Jack Harkness: [clears throat forcefully]
- Owen Harper: How d'you know all that?
- Ianto Jones: I know everything! And it says so on the bottom of the screen.
- Toshiko Sato: [as Captain Jack takes an alien artifact out of a box] You said we weren't allowed to use that again.
- Captain Jack Harkness: It's just a mind probe.
- Ianto Jones: Remember what happened the last time you used it?
- Captain Jack Harkness: That was different. That species has extremely high blood pressure.
- Ianto Jones: All right, their heads must explode all the time.
- Gwen Cooper: Jack, we can't do this. What if you're wrong? If she is human, it'll kill her.
- Captain Jack Harkness: I'm not wrong. We have to find out what she is.
- Toshiko Sato: Take it easy, Jack. Stop at the first sign of trouble.
- Ianto Jones: Or the first sign of exploding.
- Toshiko Sato: [hacking into a military database] Come on, guys, that wasn't even difficult. You disappoint me.
- Ianto Jones: It's almost obscene what you do to security systems.