Episode list

The Moment of Truth - June 10, 2008

Excitable announcer man tells us this is the episode they never thought they'd be able to air. Apparently, we will hear secrets from people who have sworn to protect our lives: a male EMT and a female volunteer firefighter

Host Not Marky Mark gives us the ground rules.

Contestant #1: Aaron Dunbar, 21, EMT from Lancaster, California, lives with parents, planning to go to med school. He promises NMM he will answer every single question.

Cheering Squad: It's a big 'un including Nicole (his girlfriend), Doreen (his mom), Mike (his dad), Jennica (sp?) (his sister), Danny (his brother-in-law), Ben (his brother) They are all ready.

Level One: Six Questions for $10,000

Question #1: Would you give Osama Bin Laden CPR if his life depended on it? Answer: No (True) (By definition wouldn't you only perform CPR on someone whose life depended on it?)

Question #2: Do you always wash your hands after using the restroom? Answer: No (True) He looks embarrassed and the audience oohs.

Question #3: Do you really care about the famine in Darfur? Answer: Yes (True)

NMM tells the cheering squad about the one time button whacking option if they don't want to hear an answer.

Question #4: As an adult, have you ever cried over a girl? Answer: Yes (True) Nicole says "he better answer this one right." The crowd laughs at him. Nicole mocks him by wiping away faux tears.

Question #5: Do you think fat people are simply weak? Answer: Yes (True) The crowd laughs, his dad is somewhere between laughing and aghast. Nicole, whose face has a smidge of baby fat pushes her hair off her face. He excuses his feeling by saying he sees morbidly obese patients all the time and, although it's sad, he feels they should at least try to help themselves.

Question #6: Special guest questioner, an obese woman named Linda from the National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance: Do fat people repulse you? Answer: Yes (True) The crowd oohs, Linda looks okay with it. She calls it a misperception that fat people are weak.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Aaron wins $10,000. NMM calls him brave for answering an uncomfortable question truthfully.

(Again we reiterate, this show spoils its own humiliation party by showing us late in the game questions. For instance there was a break between Linda asking the question and Aaron answering it but, on the way to the break, they showed another question. This just seems nonsensical).

NMM asks if he wants to go on, his cheering squad says to do it, he does.

Level Two: Five Questions for $25,000

Question #7: Have you ever been ashamed of growing up Mormon? Answer: Yes (True) Mom looks disapproving and dad a little hurt. (This is at least the second Mormon contestant on this show).

Question #8: As an EMT have you ever knowingly falsified a report? Dad says "that could cost him his job." Nicole calls it unfair. No one whacks the button though. Answer: Yes (True) Aaron only looks a little worried. NMM wonders why nobody chose the button option. Dad says they're saving it for a really hard one. In his defense Aaron says no one has ever died. (Presumably, he means as a result of his falsifying a report).

Question #9: Do you really believe you can get any girl you want? Answer: Yes (True) The cheering squad is amused. (Remember it's whether he believes it, not whether he actually could).

Question #10: Do you think Nicole is the prettiest woman you've ever dated? Answer: No (True). (Jeez, these are so easy and obvious). Nicole looks slightly hurt. But considering he'll probably share some of his cash she's probably alright with it. NMM wants to know how she feels. She admits that it "kind of sucks to hear." Aaron does offer that she has "absolutely the best personality" of anyone he's ever met. Knowing that that is code for "fat chick" and knowing how he feels about fat people, Nicole does not look comforted by this compliment.

Question #11: As an EMT, have you ever touched a female patient more than your job requires? Sis and girlfriend look freaked.

Again we get a break with another question tease which means Aaron answered truthfully and since he looked worried it had to be a yes, right? Answer: No (True) So why the worried face, oh right, for the TV cameras. Isn't that one you'd answer right away if it was no?

Ding! Ding! Ding! Aaron wins $25,000

NMM gives him the option to quit. CS, including Nicole says to keep going, he does.

Level Three: Four Questions for $100,000

Question #12: Do you feel like a failure because you had to move back in with your parents? Answer: Yes (True)

Question #13: Since you've dated Nicole have you ever given your number to another woman? Answer: Yes (True) Nicole? Not psyched. NMM asked why she didn't hit the button. She says there are things to talk about but she wanted to hear the answer.

Question #14: Do you think your parents dislike your girlfriend, Nicole, because of her religion? (She's Jewish) Answer: Yes (True) Ooh, getting chilly on the couch. Again, it's not whether they actually do it's whether he thinks it. Mom pats Nicole's hand. Aaron says he knows that they would prefer for him to date a Mormon girl.

Question #15: Would you marry Nicole even if it meant you would never speak to your family again? And we know he either lies or he takes the money and runs because there's no new question tease at the break. Answer: No (True)

Ding! Ding! Ding! Aaron wins $100,000

NMM gives him the option to stop. Mom tells him to stop. He stops.

Contestant #2: Mary Beth Kraese, 39, married 13 years, stay at home mom to three boys, volunteer firefighter from South Huntington, NY

Level One: Six questions for $10,000

Cheering Squad: Phil (her husband), Richie (her father-in-law), Mary Louise (her friend)

Question #1: Have you ever given something to your kids that you shoplifted from a store? Answer: Yes (True) Everyone thinks this is funny. We are all assuming grapes, right? She actually cops to swiping lollipops, books, and flowers and that it happens all the time.

Question #2: Have you ever deliberately started a fire that damaged someone else's property? She laughs. Yikes?! Answer: Yes (True) She says she burned a neighbor's photo album, because they hurt her. NMM does not ask if she then put it out in her role as a firefighter.

Question #3: Do you volunteer at the fire station because you like getting attention from men other than your husband? Again, a laugh. Answer: Yes (True) The husband looks unperturbed. She calls herself a flirt. Richie says now they know they have an arsonist, a klepto, and a flirt. Everyone thinks this is riotous. Now that's a good neighbor. State Farm should be calling her any day to sign her up for some commercials.

Question #4: Have you ever stolen anything from a relative's house? Answer: Yes (True) Richie throws his hands up. But hey that could've been something small a box of mints, some painkillers, some Zip-Loc bags. It was something from grandma's house apparently.

Question #5: Did you cheat on your Red Cross First Aid test in order to become certified? Answer: Yes. (True) Just the one time though, she says. Okay, arsonist, klepto, flirt, cheater.

Question #6: Guest questioner, her fire chief Rob: As a volunteer firefighter, have you ever ignored an emergency page from the fire station? She's laughing and crying. She calls him a great guy. Answer: Yes (True). She continues to crack up.

Level Two: Five Questions for $25,000

Question #7: Have you ever felt that your father would've loved you more if you were a male? She cries. Answer: Yes (True) Mary Louise bucks her up.

Question #8: Have you ever thought your mother-in-law was trying to ruin your marriage? Answer: Yes (True) Her father-in-law shakes his head but he didn't whack the button. He explains his wife is a typical M-I-L, protective of her son so anyone that poses a threat is an enemy. Wow, enemy, that seems strong and not exactly typical.

Question #9: Have you ever thought about leaving your husband because you think he doesn't earn enough money? Answer: No (True)

Question #10: Since you've been married, have you lost sexual attraction for your husband? Answer: No. She seems determined about it. During the wait father-in-law crosses his fingers and hubby says come on, I don't want to see a red screen. (False) She cries into her hands, losing all the money. NMM had hoped the CS would hit the button. Mary Beth feels nauseous. Hubby says "it happens." She hugs him and apologizes.

NMM signs off.

"Moment of Truth" - March 26, 2008

This week in "Possible Financial Gain and Probable Uncomfortable Thanksgiving Dinners"

It's the first part of a two-part season finale and, well, you know what that means, marriages are busting up and lurid details of other people's sex lives are on display.

Constestant #1: Paul, a 23-year-old fight promoter and former wrestler who lives with his mother in San Diego.

Paul is glad to be here and is feeling good. Paul clearly has no short-term memory. Paul is rocking a rat-tail.

In the audience for support: Paul's girlfriend Maria, mom, sister, dad, best friend

Host Mark "Not Marky Mark" L. Walberg asks if Paul's cheering squad is prepared, it is. They clearly don't know Paul very well.

Level One (Six Questions for $10,000)

1. Have you ever ignored a friend that you knew needed your help? Yes. (True)

2. Do you have a mullet because you think it attracts women? Yes. (True) (Maria thinks it's sexy.)

3. Have you ever lied to a woman about the fact that you live with your mother? Yes. (True)

4. Have you ever borrowed money from a family member and spent it on something illegal? No. (True)

5. Have you ever told your parents you quit gambling when, in fact, you hadn't? Yes. (True)

(Such a curious show, people clap because he advances but they're also, intentionally or not, applauding the fact that he lied to his parents.)

6. Have you ever lost more than $10,000 gambling in one day? (Break) Yes. (True)

Ding! Ding! Ding! You're a winner of more money than you've lost gambling in one day! ("I won it back," crows Paul.)

Level Two (Six Questions for $25,000)

7. Have you ever told your parents that you had made a lot of money in your business when in fact you made it gambling? (Sister and friend hit the escape button which means they don't want to know the answer. Or don't want mom and dad to know).

7. Replacement question: Have you ever had sex with someone and kept her underwear as a trophy? Yes. (True) (Ew.)

8. Have you ever had sexual relations with someone you would be embarrassed to introduce to your mother? Yes. (True)

9. Are there things in your sexual history that you keep secret from Maria? Yes. (True) (He calls it a man law, she wants to discuss this later).

10. Do you think that you would like to have children with Maria someday? (Break) No. (True) (This hurts Maria's feelings. We're starting to think her eggs might be better off in someone else's more risk-and-STD-averse basket).

11. Do you keep a spreadsheet of all the women you have had sexual relations with? Yes. (True). (He likes to be organized, there are categories and ratings. No mention of color-coding. He blames his sister for giving him a little black book at age 17. He calls it his "little pimp book.")

Ding! Ding! Ding! The pimp book nets him $25,000. Maria feels like she knows nothing about Paul.

Level Three (Four Questions for $100,000)

12. Have you ever thought you were a disappointment to your father? Yes. (True) (Dad says we all learn from our mistakes and says he's extremely proud of Paul.)

13. Do you think you could ever be faithful to just one woman? (Break) No. (True.) (He was hoping this would be a $500,000 question. Considering what's coming up, that seems hard to believe. Maria's starting to get steamed. She's very disappointed. Paul calls for the next question. Mom hopes he matures enough to know what love is really about.)

14. Have you had sexual relations with over 100 women? Yes. (True) (Maria is beginning to tear up. Dad and best friend are still clapping.)

15. Have you ever been paid for sex? (Break) Yes. (True) (Mom is in "ay, ay, ay, ay" mode. Apparently, Paul was a college gigolo.)

Paul stops gambling and gets paid for talking about sex instead of having it.

Contestant #2: Angela, a married, 27-year-old interior designer from California, oldest of four. (Did they polygraph her age?)

Angela is excited and nervous.

In the audience for support: Her husband David, her mom, and best friend

Level One

1. Do you believe that most women are jealous of your beauty? Yes. (True)

2. Would it bother you if your future children inherited your husband's red hair? Yes. (True) (David does not seem surprised.)

3. Would you respect your husband more if he made more money? Yes. (True) (David does not seem surprised.)

4. Before you were married, did you ever have sexual relations with a married man? (Break). Yes. (True) (David feigns surprise. She does a little happy dance at her true answer getting her closer to $10k.)

Walberg asks Angela and David, married only two years, if it's wise for a young, married couple to continue with this endeavor. Angela doesn't respond to the wisdom aspect and just says she's going to continue.

5. Would you say it is sometimes a struggle to stay faithful to your husband? .........

And it's a cliffhanger until next week's season finale.

Hmm, vanity, greed, lust, and gluttony. Not bad for 44 minutes work. Considering David's rising disgust we think that wrath may be in store for Angela next week when, as the announcer puts it, "she destroys her marriage one question at a time."