Dulé Hill: Burton Guster

Gus Walks Into a Bank

Burton Guster

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Oh, and Shawn...I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I care about you, and I appreciate you, and, well...I love you, Shawn.
[Gus hugs Shawn]
Shawn Spencer: Okay, buddy. I hear you. You know I'm going to be back in, like, half an hour, right? Wow...that is a tight hug.

Shawn Spencer: Well, if you remember, I'm holding a bit of a grudge against this particular banking institution.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Why, because they turned you down for a small business loan last year?
Shawn Spencer: Yes, because they turned me down for a small business loan! That was completely legitimate, Gus.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn, it was for a zip-line pulley system to transport snacks from the kitchen to your desk.
Shawn Spencer: Or the reception area. What's your point?

[Shawn had just called Lassiter "partner"]
Burton 'Gus' Guster: "Partner"? Uh, excuse me, what was that about?
Shawn Spencer: Well, you got to admit, it's better than a little boy cat...or a little girl cat.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Not appreciated, Shawn.

Shawn Spencer: [to Gresling] Do you recall rejecting a small business loan for a zip-line snack transportation system, calling it, and I quote, "fiscally irresponsible"?
Burton 'Gus' Guster: Shawn...
Nathaniel Gresling: Yes, I do.
Shawn Spencer: Well, Mr. Nathanial Gresling, this little task of retrieving the Mini Oreos took me fourteen seconds. Zip-line? Whoosh! Five. Fiscally irresponsible? Nay, I call that my fiscal obligation to my shareholders, namely Gus here.

Shawn Spencer: Go ahead. Slap me in the face, tell me they call you Mister Tibbs.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I'm not doing that.
Shawn Spencer: Come on. It'll make you feel better.
Burton 'Gus' Guster: [clears his throat] They call me *Mister*...
[beat]
Burton 'Gus' Guster: I'm not doing that.
Shawn Spencer: You were one word away!

Burton 'Gus' Guster: Part of running a business together, Shawn, is sharing in the responsibilites of the "business" side of the business...like making deposits.
Shawn Spencer: What about the "bidness" side? Cause I'm more of a "bidness" man. Who's covering that?