Nathan Vetterlein credited as playing...
- Scout: Are you listening? Okay.
- [chuckles slightly]
- Scout: [counts on his fingers while talking to the camera] Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother?
- Scout: [pokes the camera] ... I hurt people.
- Scout: [after killing an Engineer] Here's a schematic for ya: MY ASS
- Scout: I'm gonna headbutt ya! I'm gonna headbutt ya! I'm gonna headbutt ya!
- Scout: Yeah, I dare ya, rage quit! C'mon make us both happy!
- Scout: [after killing an Engineer] Here's something you shoulda built: a not dyin' machine.
- Scout: [after killing a Heavy] $400,000 to fire that gun huh? Yeah money well spent
- Scout: [after killing a Sniper] You'll never hit me! You'll never hit my tiny head! It's so tiny! I got a freakin, such a tiny little head!
- Scout: [after killing a Demoman] Depth perception pal, look into it!
- Scout: [after killing a Medic] Where's your precious hippo-crates now?
- Scout: [getting a lot of height with double or triple jumps] Hey I can see my base from here!
- Scout: Say goodbye to your kneecaps, chucklehead.
- Scout: Wave goodbye to your secret crap, dumbass!
- Scout: Yeah, why don't ya come over and say that to my face, tough guy? Bonk!
- Scout: I should be on a baseball card!
- Scout: [after killing a Heavy] I am owning you, you fat bald bastard!
- Scout: [after killing a Heavy] I am owning you, you fat bald, fatty fat fat!
- Scout: [after killing a Medic] Ooooh your gun shoots medicine! That's intimidating...
- Scout: If you order now, I'll throw in a second beatin' absolutely free
- Scout: Dude you'd get a closed casket at the ugly cemetery
