Simon Bird credited as playing...
Will McKenzie
- Will McKenzie: [Neil's dad Kevin comes home to find the four guys drunk] Oh, piss off!
- Kevin Sutherland: Don't talk to me like that in my own house!
- Will McKenzie: Oh I'm so sorry, my manners. Piss off PLEASE!
- Kevin Sutherland: I've had enough of your lip!
- Will McKenzie: Oh you'd like my lip, wouldn't you? Right round your bell end!
- [Will points to Kevin's friend]
- Will McKenzie: If Mr Chippy doesn't get there first! What's he gonna knock up, a closet for you to hide in? You... BUMDER!
- Will McKenzie: Please don't have a wank over my mum.
- Neil Sutherland: I can't promise that, I'm afraid.
- Mr. Cooper: You've lied to your mothers, bought alcohol illegally, abused Neil's dad, stole my suit, defaced the pavement outside Carli's! Am I missing anything?
- Will McKenzie: We also hit a spastic with a frisbee.