Simon Helberg credited as playing...
Howard Wolowitz
- Howard Wolowitz: Are you from the Star Wars universe?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes.
- Howard Wolowitz: Were you in the original trilogy?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes.
- Howard Wolowitz: Is there a picture of you in my wallet wearing a metal bikini?
- Leonard Hofstadter: God, I hope not. And no, I'm not Princess Leia.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: OK, OK, my turn. Are you in all six Star Wars movies?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Interesting. Are you a droid?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Do you kind of look like a shiny Sheldon?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes!
- Rajesh Koothrappali: C-3PO!
- Leonard Hofstadter: You got it!
- Sheldon Cooper: [talking and moving in a manner reminiscent of C-3PO] That's preposterous. I do not resemble C-3PO! Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. I just don't see it.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: What do you say, Howard?
- Howard Wolowitz: I say, Vegas, baby!
- Rajesh Koothrappali: What are you gonna tell your mother?
- Howard Wolowitz: Sea World, baby!
- Sheldon Cooper: [Howard is crying after Leslie dumps him] I don't understand. If you were in a non-emotional relationship, then why are you having what appears to be an emotional response?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, he obviously had feelings for her.
- Howard Wolowitz: Of course I had feelings for her. I saw her naked, for God's sake.
- Howard Wolowitz: [about Leslie's Facebook page] Look at her status update. She's saying she dumped me; people need to know I dumped her.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: But she did dump you.
- Howard Wolowitz: Grow up, Raj. There's no place for truth on the Internet.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: What happened with Leslie? Why did she dump you?
- Howard Wolowitz: I don't know. She just said, "Howard, Mama's a rolling stone."
- Howard Wolowitz: [cell phone ringing] Leslie Winkle. Ahem. You've reached Friends with Benefits. For a booty call, press 1 now.
- Sheldon Cooper: What exactly does that expression mean, "friends with benefits"? Does he provide her with health insurance?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No. Look, imagine you maintained a friendship with someone you had sex with, but you were free to date whoever you wanted.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, I can't imagine any of that.
- Howard Wolowitz: I'm going back to the room.
- [walks away]
- Mikayla: Boy, would it maybe kill them to put out a nice brisket?
- Howard Wolowitz: [Howard stops in his tracks, turns around and comes back] Hi there, Howard Wolowitz.
- Mikayla: Esther Rosenblatt.
- Howard Wolowitz: Cut the crap. You set this up, didn't you?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes.
- Howard Wolowitz: She's a hooker, isn't she?
- Rajesh Koothrappali: A prostitute, yes.
- Howard Wolowitz: You already gave her the money?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yes.
- Howard Wolowitz: Thank you.