Sean Murray: Timothy McGee

Murder 2.0

Timothy McGee

Officer Ziva David: I told you to destroy those... twice!
Special Agent Timothy McGee: I did. I did. No. I-I-I didn't... um, Tony. Tony- Tony must have...
Officer Ziva David: What? When you went to get coffee? You did not erase those photos, did you? Hmm?
[McGee sighs]
Officer Ziva David: Admit it! And I will spare you *one* of your eyes!

Special Agent Timothy McGee: Cole worked at a local carwash. Abby got a hit off his DNA. Two years ago he donated sperm.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Tony and Ziva enter] Ah the things people will do for money.
Officer Ziva David: You donated your sperm.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Didn't do that for money. Just to enrich the world. So, Boss I spoke with security at Quantico.
[McGee clears his throat]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt? Let's see who the Boss likes better.
[Tony and McGee wait expectantly]
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Ziva.

Abby Sciuto: Oh my God. That poster is right outside my lab. He was here. He walked right by my lab!
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Abby, this isn't a flash code. It's h-dot-six-two-four...
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Hey, McGee!
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Boss, this isn't a video. It's streaming live. He's outside Abby's lab!

Special Agent Timothy McGee: [comes running into Abby's lab] Abby! It's okay, you're...
[He falls on his face with a grunt. Abby peeks out of her hiding place and sees McGee's empty shoes, stuck fast to the floor]
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Again with the Krazy Glue?
Abby Sciuto: Consider yourself lucky. It was either that or hydrochloric acid!

Special Agent Timothy McGee: Boss, I'm not a god among men. You are! I've got it! Now my CPU's too small!
[McGee leaves]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm gonna let that slide.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [while trying to figure out the place of a murder] All right, now let's try the place.
Special Agent Timothy McGee: A convent.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Is that where they keep the killer nuns?
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Some of the nuns I know can get very agitated.
Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Please tell me that you have something better than agitated nuns.

[as McGee walks into the squad room, Tony runs up to him]
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [whispering] Run for your life, Probie! Run!
Special Agent Timothy McGee: What are you doing?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I'm trying to save your life!
Special Agent Timothy McGee: What did you do?
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [laughs indignantly] Why do you assume it's me-? That's a good point, but in this case...
Officer Ziva David: [shouts] McGee!
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Too late.

[SPOILER]
Tommy Doyle: [ruefully] NCIS... I knew I should've gone with the FBI. It's a cliche, but look what you get for trying something different.
Officer Ziva David: [disables the bomb] Clear.
Rose Woodhouse: He said if I didn't just stand there, he'd kill me!
[to Tommy]
Rose Woodhouse: You said we were shooting another music video! I hope you fry!
Special Agent Timothy McGee: [pulling her away] Come on, Rose, come on, let's go...
Officer Ziva David: He set her up. How did you know?
[Gibbs points]
Officer Ziva David: The video camera? Yes, they had one of those at every murder.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: On the victim. *I* was the murder weapon.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [cuffing Tommy] Total cliche, you know. You ripped that off from "Seven."
Tommy Doyle: Wrong! At the end of "Seven" the cops kill the serial killer, not another victim, it's *totally* different!
[smirks]
Tommy Doyle: Doesn't matter, I still win. You? You may be the "famous" Leroy Jethro Gibbs, but you're... you're nothing but a set piece. Who caught Gacy, huh? Manson? I don't know. But Tommy Doyle... he's gonna be a household name by the ten o'clock news!

[McGee rushes to MTAC to check out a new lead]
Special Agent Timothy McGee: Well, it is the Cyber-Vid Killer. If McGee wasn't meant to do the heavy lifting, who was?

Special Agent Timothy McGee: These outlying homes receive their water from local aquifers. Water's drawn into holding tanks and distributed to these smaller nodes.
Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Pumped to the houses as needed.
Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: It's a technology as old as the hills. At Skara Brae in Scotland, as I recall, a Neolithic stone village was uncovered, complete with plumbing.