Neil Patrick Harris credited as playing...
Billy (Dr. Horrible)
- Penny: He's a really good looking guy and I thought he was kind of cheesy at first.
- Dr. Horrible: [under his breath] Trust your instincts.
- Penny: But, he turned out to be totally sweet. Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface.
- Dr. Horrible: And sometimes there's a third, even deeper level, and that one is the same as the top surface one. Like with pie.
- Dr. Horrible: Any dolt with half a brain can see that humankind has gone insane, to the point where I don't know if I'll upset the status quo if I throw poison in the water main. Listen close to everybody's heart and hear that breaking sound. Hopes and dreams are shattering apart and crashing to the ground. I cannot believe my eyes... how the world's filled with filth and lies. But it's plain to see, evil inside of me is on the rise.
- Penny: Billy?
- Dr. Horrible: Yeah?
- Penny: You're driving a spork into your leg.
- Dr. Horrible: So I am. Hilarious.
- Dr. Horrible: I wanna do great things, you know? I wanna be an achiever, like Bad Horse.
- Penny: The Thoroughbred of Sin?
- Dr. Horrible: I meant... Gandhi.
- Penny: It's like Captain Hammer's always saying...
- Dr. Horrible: Tsch... Right. Him. How are things with "Cheesy on the Outside"?
- Penny: Good. They're good. He's... nice. I'll be interested to know what you think of him, he said he might stop by.
- Dr. Horrible: Stop by here?
- Penny: Yeah.
- Dr. Horrible: Oh...
- [slides up his sleeve]
- Dr. Horrible: ... goodness, look at my wrist. I gotta go!
- Dr. Horrible: [singing] And Penny will see the evil me/Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure/And she may cry, but her tears will dry/When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia!
- [talking about Horrible needing to kill to get into the Evil League of Evil]
- Moist: Hourglass says she knows a kid in Iowa who grows up to become president. That'd be... big!
- Dr. Horrible: I'm not gonna kill a little kid.
- Moist: Smother an old lady!
- Dr. Horrible: Do I even know you?
- Moist: You've got more than enough evil hours to get into the henchmen's union.
- Dr. Horrible: Pssh! I'm not a henchman, I'm Dr. Horrible. I have a Ph.D. in horribleness!
- Moist: Is that the new catchphrase?
- Penny: Oh, Billy, this is Captain Hammer.
- Captain Hammer: Oh, Billy. The laundry buddy. Well, it is very nice to meet you.
- Dr. Horrible: We're meeting now for the first time.
- Captain Hammer: You look horribly familiar.
- Dr. Horrible: One of those faces, I guess!
- Captain Hammer: Have I seen you at the gym?
- Dr. Horrible: The gym...
- Captain Hammer: I don't go to the gym. I'm just naturally like this.
- Penny: Well, I've gotten turned down from plenty of jobs. Even fired a few times.
- Dr. Horrible: I can't imagine anybody firing you.
- Penny: Neither could I. Now I can visualize it, really well.