Erik Knudsen credited as playing...
Robbie Mercer
- Robbie: You're a movie knack, Kirby, what's your favourite scary movie?
- Kirby Reed: Bambi. Dork. What?
- Charlie Walker: That's funny, Kirby!
- Sidney Prescott: This... you film your entire high school experience and what, post it on the 'net?
- Robbie: Everybody will be doing it some day.
- Charlie Walker: It's kind of the one component the killer is missing.
- Gale Weathers-Riley: Wait, what do you mean?
- Charlie Walker: Well, if you wanna be the new, new version, the killer should be filming the murders.
- Robbie: Yeah, it's like the natural next step in the psycho-slasher innovation. I mean you film them all real-time and before you get caught, you upload them into cyberspace.
- Charlie Walker: Making your art as immortal as you.
- Charlie Walker: [speaking same time as Robbie] Not to implicate him.
- Robbie: [speaking same time as Charlie] Not to implicate me.
- Sidney Prescott: So who do you think is doing the murders.
- Charlie Walker: Well, it's a Stab fanatic clearly. Working on less of a Shrequel and more of a Screamake.
- Robbie: Copyright terms, by the way.
- Charlie Walker: Cause all there are now are remakes. Only horror studios green-light. I mean, there are still rules, but the rules have changed. The unexpected is the new cliche.
- Robbie: Yeah, you gotta have an opening sequence, that blows the doors off, gallop some music video direction and the kill's gotta be way more extreme.
- Charlie Walker: Modern audiences get sappy to the rules of the original. So, the reverse has become the new standard. In fact, the only sure-fire way to survive a modern horror movie, you pretty much gotta be gay.
- [pause]
- Gale Weathers-Riley: So, why are you so sure that the killer is working by the rules of a horror remake?
- Robbie: Well, the original Stab structure is pretty apparent.
- Charlie Walker: Yeah, two kids killed in a house when their parents are away?
- Robbie: And, then the school's 'hot chick' savage beyond recognition.
- Charlie Walker: We all know where it goes from there...?
- Sidney Prescott: A party.
- Charlie Walker: Exactly. A party. Guaranteed third-act-main-cast bloodbath.
- Robbie: Fingers crossed on some nudity for a change.
- Robbie: You guys are unbelievable, you're playing fucking trivia games? The cops are gonna come for us, they're gonna shut down my website. We're so dead!