Charlie Carver credited as playing...
Porter Scavo
- Porter Scavo: Just so you know, 30 years from now when you and dad are old and feeble...
- Lynette Scavo: You're putting us in the cheapest nursing home you can find, yeah. I got it.
- Porter Scavo: Ooh, Dad called a family meeting.
- Parker Scavo: Yeah, mom he said it's about the restaurant.
- Lynette Scavo: Oh boy, I think I know what this is about. Things have been tough down at the restaurant and I think your dad has finally decided to sell it.
- Parker Scavo: Wow!
- Preston Scavo: Is he gonna be okay?
- Lynette Scavo: I don't know, that's why we all have to be really supportive, and you with me?
- [all nod]
- Tom Scavo: Hey guys, good, you're all here.
- Penny Scavo: I love you daddy!
- Lynette Scavo: Not yet.
- Tom Scavo: I wanted to talk to you all about our pizzeria.
- Lynette Scavo: Just know that we're 100% behind you.
- Tom Scavo: That means a lot because this was a really rough day for me. I had to let all our employees go. So starting tomorrow, you kids are my new wait staff!
- Lynette Scavo: Tom, what the hell are you talking about?
- Tom Scavo: You and I'll handle the days and the kids'll join us after school and on the weekends.
- Parker Scavo: At the risk of sounding spoiled, a-noo.
- Tom Scavo: Come on, we'll love working together,
- Porter Scavo: Why? We don't even like living together.
- Preston Scavo: You're not even going to pay us?
- Penny Scavo: I'm nine, is that even legal?
- Tom Scavo: I think so, but just to be sure, you're fifteen, happy birthday!
- Parker Scavo: Mom, please do something.
- [the twins decide to take a break as soon as a group of teenagers come in]
- Lynette Scavo: What's going on here?
- Preston Scavo: Those kids go to our school.
- Porter Scavo: And you know who that big guy is? Kevin McDurmot, the guy called me 'Jesus' for a year cause I wore sandals for one day! If he sees me wearing this, I'll never hear the end of it.
- Tom Scavo: Fine, don't wear the apron.
- Porter Scavo: No. I'm not gonna wait on a kid who's gonna make fun of me on Monday morning. It's humiliating enough having to work here.
- [Tom has a tantrum and slams Porter against the wall, and Lynette breaks it up]
- Parker Scavo: [looking shocked] Guys, I just sat a twelve-top, who's taking it?
- Tom Scavo: I will.
- [they all look shocked]
- Tom Scavo: I had to let all of our employees go. So starting tomorrow you kids are my new wait staff!
- Lynette Scavo: Tom what the hell are you talking about?
- Tom Scavo: I got it all worked out. You and I will handle the days and the kids will join us after school and on the weekends.
- Parker Scavo: Um. At the risk of sounding spoiled. No.
- Tom Scavo: come on it'll be fantastic! We'll love working together!
- Porter Scavo: Why? we don't even like living together.
- Tom Scavo: look labor is our number one cost if we can eliminate it we'll start making a profit again.
- Preston Scavo: what you're not even gonna pay us?
- Penny Scavo: I'm nine is that even legal?
- Tom Scavo: I think so... but just to be safe you're now 15. Happy Birthday!
- Lynette Scavo: [Preston sees a group of kids from his and Porters school and Porter and Preston decide to take a break] Wow, wow, wow, what's going on here?
- Preston Scavo: Those kids go to our school.
- Porter Scavo: And you know who that big guy is? Kevin McDermitt. The guy called me Jesus for a year cause i wore sandals one day if he sees me wearing this I'll never hear the end of it.
- Tom Scavo: Fine don't wear the apron that's...
- Porter Scavo: No. I'm not waiting on a kid who's going to make fun of me on Monday morning. It's humiliating enough having to work here!
- Tom Scavo: Humiliating?
- Lynette Scavo: Guy's easy
- Tom Scavo: No you're not humiliated when you use the money we make here to buy your clothes!
- Lynette Scavo: Tom it's fine, I'll take the table
- Tom Scavo: No no no no no no no your mother can't wait on this whole restaurant herself!
- Porter Scavo: Well then you do it!
- Tom Scavo: Porter I'm your father and your boss and I'm telling you right now to go take that table.
- Porter Scavo: Or what your gonna fire me? go for it.
- Tom Scavo: [grabs Porter by his collar and shoves him against the wall as Lynette gasps] Do you think this is a joke? This is my life!
- Lynette Scavo: Tom!...
- Tom Scavo: No!
- [shakes Porter repeatedly]
- Tom Scavo: you're worried about being embarrassed?
- [shakes Porter while saying]
- Tom Scavo: I've put everything I have into this restaurant!
- Lynette Scavo: Alright that's enough! Let got of him! Let go of him! Let go of him!
- Parker Scavo: Guys... I just set a twelve top. Who's taking it?
- Tom Scavo: [sighs] ... I will...
- [he walks off as everyone stares at him looking scared]