Plot

House treats a priest who's lost his faith, issues an ultimatum to Foreman and Thirteen, and plays with Cuddy's desire to have him attend - or is it not attend? - her baby's naming ceremony.

House doesn't want Foreman and Thirteen to be together while they work in the same team and gives them a "split or quit" ultimatum. Until this issue has been settled, House doesn't want a real case. Flipping through some files in the ER, he decides to treat a priest who's lost his faith but nevertheless saw Jesus. Pretty soon however, it turns out to be a real case instead of the no-brainer House thought it would be. Cuddy's throwing her baby a Jewish naming ceremony. She asks House to be there, but it's not clear she actually wants him to come.—Marco van Hoof <k_luifje7@hotmail.com>

We opened on a priest with a bit of a problem. Once he was all alone, after giving a homeless man a hoodie to keep warm, the priest took part in some heavy drinking and smoking. After hearing a knock on the door, the priest opened it to find an image of Jesus, complete with the crown of thorns, floating in front of him as if still on the cross.

Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein) invited House (Hugh Laurie) to a Jewish baby naming ceremony, even though he had plans to have sex with two hookers. Just the rabbi, a few friends and some family.

"Wish I could, but I already put down a deposit on 16 crates of Jell-O," House said.

Cuddy pleaded, "It's one evening. I'd like you to be there."

House flipped through some files in the E.R. and found the case of the priest. Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) thought it was either alcohol or exhaustion. House mocked her for not knowing which it was. She said she didn't care to figure out who House was messing with -- or, with whom House was messing.

The team also tried to figure out why House was interested in the case. They figured he either wanted to screw with them or the hallucinating priest. "Both are possible," House said. "Only one way to find out."

House pulled Thirteen (Olivia Wilde) and Foreman (Omar Epps) aside and told her to make a choice between relationship and career. He told her to mull it over and decide by the end of the case.

Taub (Peter Jacobson) and Kutner (Kal Penn) learned the priest, Daniel Bresson (Jimmi Simpson), had lived all over the country for short periods of time. He explained a teen in a youth group at his church accused him of sexual misconduct. He said each time he landed at a new church, he was sent off to another one after everyone found out why he had been transfered.

Taub suggested maybe the priest really did see Jesus.

"I'm not insane," Daniel said.

Kutner noted that the notion of seeing Jesus making him insane was an "odd attitude coming from a priest."

The priest said, "It's just a job now. The fairy tale ended a long time ago."

House mocked Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) for being a wuss and planning to attend Cuddy's ceremony. After Wilson suggested Cuddy might actually want him to be there, House agreed it was "oddly flattering" Cuddy invited him.

Thirteen was upset about House's games. She told Foreman he shouldn't always defend House and suggested he was co-dependent. Foreman then realized House didn't want to fire either of them, he just wanted to make them fight. So they decided to do nothing.

House thought it was cool the priest didn't believe in God. Taub wanted to discharge the priest, saying there was nothing wrong with him. House figured if the case was over, it was "bad news for Foreman and Thirteen."

He asked them what they decided and Thirteen said they weren't splitting up and neither of them was quitting.

"Interesting," House said. Then he fired Foreman.

House told Foreman the difference between Thirteen and Foreman's relationship compared to Chase (Jesse Spencer) and Cameron's was Chase never compromised his professional judgment to help Cameron. House took Foreman's badge, then told Thirteen to "find us a real case."

Daniel wanted to stay in the hospital, certain there was something wrong with him. He was saying he had pain in his left foot. Kutner pulled the sheet back and said, "Oh, God." Then he told the priest his toe had fallen off.

House was pleased there was a real symptom. He told Taub and Kutner that Foreman was fired and Thirteen was mad, which was why they weren't there. Taub and Kutner made their cases for Thirteen and Foreman while House went over possible diagnoses.

Foreman said he was going to find another job. He told Thirteen that House was right and their relationship did affect his judgment. She wanted to quit, but he told her not to.

"Don't worry," he told her. "I'll be fine. We'll be fine."

House got into the elevator with Cuddy and tried to get her to admit she only invited him to the ceremony to keep him away from it, knowing he wouldn't go if he knew she wanted him there. She told him it was a sincere invitation, then she went to Wilson's office and let him have it.

"You idiot," she told Wilson. "I was free and clear -- now he's coming and it's your fault."

She told Wilson he messed it and now he had to fix it -- and keep her name out of it.

The doctors were monitoring the priest in a hyperbaric chamber (where he'd been placed to avoid any more appendages from falling off -- and he had what Kutner thought was a heart attack.

Foreman went to Cuddy and asked her for a letter of recommendation. She said the reality is House was right to fire him. She said he was lucky to still have a license. He told her he couldn't get a decent position at another hospital without a recommendation.

"I'm sorry," she said.

It turned out Daniel didn't have a heart attack, and House lamented the fact he'd fired the only doctor on his team who knew what a heart attack looked like.

House met the priest, and loved the priest's cynicism and lack of faith in God, but said, "Damn, I wish you weren't a pedophile."

As they were treating the priest, they realized he had lost feeling in some of his body.

Wilson questioned House's sudden decision to attend Cuddy's baby-naming ceremony. House said, "OK, your obligation to Cuddy is filled." Wilson wondered why House was messing with Cuddy.

"She's trying to play me," House said. "If I let her succeed, the terrorists win."

Thirteen went to Cameron and asked about an opening in the E.R. She wanted to take it so House would hire Foreman back. Chase told Thirteen not to quit. Chase said Foreman shouldn't leave either. Then he said, "Office romances are a bad idea." Then he told Cameron, "We beat some very long odds."

"Wow," Cameron said. "Why don't you save the gushy stuff for the wedding?"

Chase suggested House knew it wasn't going to work out and might be doing them a favor by splitting them up. Cameron said they are looking for a doctor at Mercy and she'd make a call.

Kutner and Taub were treating the priest when he realized he was going blind and could see nothing out of one eye.

The team was trying to figure out what was wrong with the priest when House launched into an impressive metaphor involving Duran Duran and a lack of fans at their show in 2009 compared to back in the '80s. Thirteen said she didn't speak "hair band," but Kutner corrected her and said, "They weren't a hair band, they were 'new romantics.'"

The fans were white blood cells, in this metaphor, and the reason they weren't around was because they -- like Duran Duran fans -- weren't being produced anymore.

"You think ... his spleen?" Taub asked.

"Why do I even bother with these great metaphors if I still have to spell it out?" House wondered. "Yes, I think it's his spleen. Go get a biopsy while I try to get 'New Moon on Monday' out of my head."

Thirteen asked House if he'd rehire Foreman if she quit. He asked why and she said she could find a job more easily than Foreman. House asked if Foreman knew about the plan and Thirteen said he did. House looked skeptical, then said, "If he's OK with it, who am I to say no?"

House got into another discussion with the priest. He asked the priest if he still had faith and if thought that, if House saved him, God was working through him. The priest laughed it off. House said he thought the priest, despite his cynicism, still had an inkling of faith and the priest laughed that off, too. He told House he was a hypocrite because he acts like he doesn't care about anyone, yet spends every day saving lives.

"Solving puzzles," House said. "Saving lives is just collateral damage."

Bresson thought House wanted to be proven wrong to give him hope.

"You want to believe, don't you?" the priest asked House.

"Yeah," House said. "I want to walk out and find myself in a forest of whore trees. But I don't think it's a good idea to tell people to fornicate with fruit."

Cuddy told House he was right and she didn't want him at her ceremony.

"It's a special occasion filled with love and acceptance," she said, "and the last thing I need is someone there who is filled with loathing and contempt."

"OK," House said, saying he was really not coming.

Kutner told Thirteen that House was probably just messing with her and Foreman, but Taub said they should split up anyway. Kutner said "if you find something that could be good, you should hang on to it."

Thirteen found some "minor bugs" in the priest's spleen.

House asked the priest why people find God when they have kids. "Fear of the unknown," the priest said.

The doctors came to House and told him it looked like something small was making Daniel sick. Taub said it looked like the priest had a bug that never makes people sick "unless they have a compromised immune system."

"Looks like Father Nietzsche has AIDS," House said.

"Impossible," Daniel said. He said he'd never had a blood transfusion, done IV drugs or had sex. Yet, he refused to have an AIDS test.

He said on the off chance there was a false positive he'd lose all credibility. Taub said he'd already lost that. Taub was worried about "the kid he molested" and wanted to make sure that kid was tested for AIDS. Kutner said they couldn't do that, legally. House told them to start treating the priest for AIDS.

Thirteen told Foreman she could get a new job at Mercy and he could get his job back. Foreman got upset and told her he was going to handle it. "House knew you'd be like this," Thirteen told him.

"I guess House knows me better than you do," Foreman said. "Too bad I don't go both ways."

Thirteen left.

House told Wilson his attendance at Cuddy's ceremony was validating Cuddy's hypocrisy. "Everyone's a hypocrite, why are you so obsessed with Cuddy's particular brand?" Wilson asked.

Taub went and tracked down Ryan (Jake Thomas), the kid the priest allegedly molested. Taub told Ryan they believed the priest had AIDS.

"OK, so?" the kid said.

"Given the incident four years ago, I suggested you get tested, unless you've already done so," Taub said.

Ryan asked how sick the priest was. "Very," Taub said. Ryan said OK and turned around.

Taub asked Ryan if he had been tested and Ryan said, "Umm, yeah."

"And?" Taub asked.

"And it's none of your business," Ryan said.

Foreman came into House's office and asked for his job back. Thirteen walked in and asked what was going on. Thirteen and Foreman then got into a fight in front of House, claiming the other was trying to take control.

"You're an idiot," Thirteen said, before walking out.

"Well," House said to Foreman. "Either you go after her and try to patch things up, or you can blow her off and take your old job back."

Foreman said nothing, turned to House and took back his hospital badge.

"Welcome back," House said.

Kutner was treating the priest when his blood pressure started rising and his chest appeared to be swelling. It was also covered in red spots.

The doctors were going through more possible diagnoses when Thirteen suggested "micro-tumors." Foreman jumped all over her, saying, after several back and forths, he thought she was wrong.

"This isn't going to work," Thirteen said.

"Are you kidding?" House said. "I've never felt more alive! Conflict breeds creativity."

House ordered a genetic testing as Thirteen suggested.

Ryan showed up at the hospital and asked to speak to Bresson.

"I'm sorry," Ryan told him. "For everything."

"I know," Daniel said, as he placed a hand on Ryan's head. "I know."

Wilson came in and tried to give House reasons to excuse Cuddy's hypocrisy about religion so he'd be OK with going to the ceremony.

"Even if an absolute truth exists, we can't know all of it," Wilson said. "And you can't condemn her for recognizing that."

House had his moment and looked at the board and started looking at the symptoms on his board. He erased "hallucinations."

He said it wasn't a symptom.

House went to Bresson and told him he wasn't going to die. He said he had Wiscott-Aldridge Syndrome, which impaired his immune system and made him susceptible to the AIDS stuff without actually having the disease.

"You didn't catch it," House said. "Another gift from God."

The priest asked about the hallucination and House said, "Scotch explains that."

Daniel said, "That was just a coincidence?"

"Coincidences do happen," House said.

"But that coincidence is what brought me to you in the first place," Daniel said.

"You promised you wouldn't go there," House said.

Bresson quoted Einstein, saying, "Coincidences are God's way of remaining anonymous."

"A woman in Florida said, 'Look, Jesus is on my cheese sandwich.'"

Daniel reminded House he didn't even want to take the case in the first place.

"I'm just trying to understand how my life could completely turn around in a single day," Bresson said.

House told him everything that happened to him could be rationally explained.

"I know," said Daniel. "It just has a lot of coincidences."

Cuddy and Cameron talked about House saving another life, even though he didn't really want to. Cameron knew Cuddy wanted House at her ceremony. "You should tell him," Cameron said.

Cuddy seemed like she was about to ask House to attend, but she didn't say anything as they walked out of the hospital and House said, "Have fun."

During a montage, accompanied by House's sweet, sweet piano playing (as he was home, alone), we saw Cuddy's ceremony taking place and Thirteen going home to see Foreman and taking a bow -- presumably in response to her acting display earlier. As we watched more bits of Cuddy's ceremony and House's piano playing grew louder and more intense, Cuddy excitedly answered the door, only to find more relatives. Then she shared a look with Wilson as they were a little sad House wasn't there.