Michael Weston credited as playing...
Lucas Douglas
- Dr. Gregory House: How many friends do you have?
- Lucas Douglas: Seventeen.
- Dr. Gregory House: Seriously? Do you have a list?
- Lucas Douglas: No, I knew this conversation was really about you, so I just gave you an answer so you could get back to your train of thought.
- Lucas Douglas: Only two things you ignore: things that aren't unimportant and things you wish weren't important. And wishing never works.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Cancer made no sense. The head and heart make less than no sense.
- Lucas Douglas: That makes no sense.
- Dr. Chris Taub: I know. I was making a point.
- Lucas Douglas: Oh, good. I thought you were an idiot.
- Dr. Chris Taub: Why are you talking?
- Lucas Douglas: Oh, the guy doing manual labor can't have an opinion? I might be a genius who just happens to have a passion for fixing coffee machines. No, I'm obviously not, but that's rude to make assumptions about people.
- Lucas Douglas: [to House] You're supposed to trust friends.
- Dr. Gregory House: I don't know the guy. I got no logical reason...
- Lucas Douglas: To be his friend? Have you never seen an after-school special? That is part of the pleasure of friendship: trusting without absolute evidence and then being rewarded for that trust.
- Dr. Gregory House: You're taking pictures of a guy who's having an affair with his own sister and you're lecturing me about the rewards of trust.
- Lucas Douglas: There are two types of people that hire me. No, actually, there are three types of people that hire me, but the third type's irrelevant to the point I want to make.
- Dr. Gregory House: Do you have a special rate plan for being a pain in the ass?
- Dr. Gregory House: [to Lucas] You're a P.I. who can't lie?
- Lucas Douglas: I can lie. I'm just not all that good at it.