Nancy Cartwright credited as playing...
Bart Simpson • Dil • Nelson Muntz • Ralph Wiggum • Kearney • Scared Girl
- Bart Simpson: So what's the plan now, Skinrash?
- Principal Seymour Skinner: My name is not Skinrash. It's Principal Skinner, and you will refer to me as such.
- Bart Simpson: Sure thing, Such.
- Principal Seymour Skinner: I'll deal with your insubordinate wordplay later.
- Marge Simpson, Homer Simpson: Three, two, one... Happy new year!
- Marge Simpson: Of school!
- Bart Simpson: What are you guys doing?
- Marge Simpson: It's the first day of school.
- Homer Simpson: You're the government's problem now!
- Bart Simpson: I can't believe we have to start another year at school. I never learned anything at that suck shack.
- Homer Simpson: Hey! Who taught you language like that?
- Bart Simpson: Kid at school.
- Homer Simpson: So you *did* learn something!
- Principal Seymour Skinner: When you take the practice test, be sure to use a number two pencil.
- [Holds a big pencil]
- Bart Simpson: What kind of pencil do we use?
- Principal Seymour Skinner: Number two. Take a number two.
- [Kids laugh]
- Bart Simpson: Looks like you took a big number two!
- Principal Seymour Skinner: Yes, as you can see, I have a big number two in my hands, enjoing the weight and feel of it.
- [Kids laugh; Chalmers rolls eyes]
- Lisa Simpson: Bart, what did you put on question 36?
- Bart Simpson: Slurp my snot!
- Lisa Simpson: Bart!
- Bart Simpson: That was my answer. I wrote down "Slurp my snot" in the answer sheet.
- Lisa Simpson: Dad, Bart's throwing away his future!
- Homer Simpson: Oh, no! Now who will sell oranges on the offramp?
- [laughs and high-fives Bart]
- Ralph Wiggum: Mommy, I have to go potty.
- Principal Seymour Skinner: Otto, pull the bus over. I said pull over!
- Otto: Huh? Sorry, I was mesmerized by the little boy's dance.
- Bart Simpson: Hey, Seymour, I just realized something. You're stuck babysitting us losers, which makes you the real loser.
- Principal Seymour Skinner: For your information, I am not a loser. I am a successful school principal who paints houses in the summertime.
- Dolph: You painted our garage in October and the paint's already peeling!
- Principal Seymour Skinner: Your father insisted on using an inferior primer!
- Principal Seymour Skinner: Let me explain this so that even the simplest can understand: You are being hidden in Capital City so that you won't weight down the test with your numbskullery and ruin the future of those students who are our future.
- Bart Simpson: Told ya.
- Kearney: Will there be other numbskulls there, sort of an numbskull Olympics?
- Jimbo Jones: Hey, let's all act like numbskulls!
- [They make dumb faces and go "duh"]
- Nelson Muntz: Guys, guys, let's save it for the competition.