James Rolfe credited as playing...
The Angry Video Game Nerd
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Go North.
- [game responds]
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: "Okay, what now?" Go East?
- [game responds]
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: "Okay, what now?" Uh... go East... again?
- [game responds]
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: "Use only two words." Okay, I'll give you two words! Fuck you!
- [game responds]
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: "Don't know how to fuck something."
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Bats are the most annoying enemy in every game! Why does every game have to have so many fucking bats? I fucking hate bats!
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: [reading credits of Bram Stoker's Dracula] Wait, who's this? Fred Fuch... Fred Fuchs? Fred... FUCHS? Fred Fuchs. Oh my God! Fred Fuchs? Oh my God. Fred Fuchs.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: [about to play "Dracula: Crazy Vampire"] What kind of title is that? I know Dracula's a vampire, and he's crazy, sure.
- [title music starts]
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Sounds like Phantom of the Opera... which sounds like Pink Floyd!
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Even though it pisses me off, I can't complain because the game was never released. It's like someone took a shit and buried it and then someone else dug it up. What did you expect?
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: I actually did manage to make it ton Dracula, at least in his first form, and he looks just as laughable as he does in the movie.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: "Well, my man, I say you've got some grave problems!" Who would call Dracula "my man"?
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Let's try "climb".
- [game responds]
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: "Can't do that... yet!" Oh, so you're teasing me!
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: Another night. Shitty games! That's all I do is play shitty, and I have so fucking many that I'll probably be playing until the dawn! It's a sacrifice to the soul, and it's sucking me dry, and how appropriate, because tonight, it's Dracula.
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: You really need to get these shoes, because without them, you get your ass handed to you! That's what I call a power-up, and that's what I call a promotion! Rebok Pumps: You ain't shit without it! Pump it up and air it out!
- The Angry Video Game Nerd: What's up with Dracula? He's got a big head, and his face, he's like, "Duh!"