Nathan Kress credited as playing...
Freddie Benson
- Freddie Benson: You put a dead fish in my locker, I handcuffed you to Gibby. Now we're even.
- Carly Shay: Yay. Who wants lemonade?
- [Sam yanks him by his shirt]
- Sam Puckett: I don't play to get even. Mama plays to win.
- Freddie Benson: [makes a short laughing-type noise]
- Sam Puckett: What?
- Freddie Benson: Nothing. It's...
- Sam Puckett: Tell me!
- Freddie Benson: Nah, it's dumb.
- Sam Puckett: Say it!
- Freddie Benson: Okay. I was gonna say...
- Sam Puckett: That we should kiss?
- Freddie Benson: You're going to break my arm now, right?
- Sam Puckett: [shakes her head] No.
- Freddie Benson: Well... should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?
- Sam Puckett: Hm. Just to get it over with.
- Freddie Benson: Just to get it over with.
- Sam Puckett: And you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over with.
- Freddie Benson: Oh, totally, and we never tell anyone.
- Sam Puckett: Never.
- [pause]
- Sam Puckett: Well, lean.
- [Freddie sighs, then he and Sam kiss each other]
- Freddie Benson: Well, that was...
- Sam Puckett: Nice.
- Sam Puckett: Yeah, nice, uh...
- Freddie Benson: Good work.
- Sam Puckett: Thank you. You, too.
- [Sam turns around to leave]
- Sam Puckett: Hey.
- [Sam turns back around; Freddie smiles]
- Sam Puckett: I hate you.
- Freddie Benson: [makes a short laugh noise and smiles at Freddie] Hate you, too.
- [leaves]
- Carly Shay: [to Freddie] You pulled a prank on Sam?
- Freddie Benson: Uh-huh.
- Carly Shay: What, are you tired of living?
- Carly Shay: [to Freddie about Sam] You handcuffed her to Gibby?
- Freddie Benson: She put a dead fish in my locker.
- Sam Puckett: Gibby's way worse than a dead fish.
- Gibby: My mom thinks I'm awesome.
- Carly Shay: [to Freddie] Who was your first kiss?
- Freddie Benson: I haven't had my first kiss.
- Carly Shay: Oh, shut up.
- Freddie Benson: I've never kissed anyone.
- Carly Shay: But what about that rotten girl you dated last year, Valerie? You kissed her, right?
- Freddie Benson: No. Well, for like half a second at school with a bunch of other kids hanging around, but, no, I've never had a real kiss.
- Carly Shay: Oh. Well, I think it's kind of sweet that you haven't kissed anyone yet.
- Freddie Benson: [to Sam] That was really brave what you said.
- Sam Puckett: You heard?
- Freddie Benson: You didn't think I'd miss "iCarly."
- Sam Puckett: I'm sorry about telling people you never kissed anyone, and about putting blue cheese dressing in your shampoo bottle, and about sending your cell phone to Cambodia... everything, okay?
- Freddie Benson: So this means you're not gonna mess with me anymore?
- Sam Puckett: No, I'm still gonna mess with you. I'm just gonna apologize every few years so I can start fresh again.
- Sam Puckett: You guys all know our technical producer, Freddie. Show yourself to the people, Freddie.
- Freddie Benson: Hello.
- Sam Puckett: That was Freddie who last week handcuffed me to a nerd. So now guess what? Freddie has never kissed a girl. Never. Not once. I heard him say so myself and Carly is a witness. Okay, later.
- [walks off]
- Carly Shay: Sam! Sam! You just ruined Freddie's life.
- [Freddie drops his camera and looks shocked]