Terry Crews credited as playing...
Julius
- Rochelle: [to Julius] Well, while you were out taking your time sipping on coffee, uh, your son was here staging a coup!
- Julius: A coup? What? Who, Drew?
- Rochelle: Chris! I spent 20 hours of labor pushing out that big-eared boy and he turns around and does this to me?
- Julius: Does what? What did he do? What did he do?
- Rochelle: Oh, what? You're on his side now?
- Julius: No, no, I'm just trying to find out what's going on.
- Rochelle: Oh, what's going on, what's going on. Let me think about what's going on. Your son is trying to kill me. That's what's going on! I-I cook, I clean, I care for this family, and what do I get in return? Just a full-scale mutiny! Led by a child who I bore for a man who's supposed to love and honor and protect me! You know, I thought we were all in this together, but you know what? I'm finding out now that I'm just by myself!
- Julius: Rochelle, what did he do?
- Rochelle: I told Chris to wash the dishes and he told me, "No."
- Rochelle: [to Julius about Chris] So I thought you talked to him?
- Julius: I did and he's got a point.
- Rochelle: What?
- Julius: Why should Drew and Tonya watch TV while Chris cleans up their mess?
- Rochelle: I do not have to explain to him why I do the things that I do. If I want him to do something that I don't want the other kids to do, I probably have a good reason!
- Julius: And do you have a good reason?
- Rochelle: No, but that doesn't matter!
- Julius: I just need to understand why you would talk to your mother like that.
- Chris: Dad, Drew and Tonya were sitting down, watching TV and I'm the only one Mom said to go clean up. It's just not fair. You raised me to stand up for myself, so why do I get in trouble when I do it at home?
- Julius: Look, Chris, you might win the battle, but you're gonna lose the war. Sometimes it's not about just being right. Hey, look, you need to apologize to your mother.
- Chris: Why?
- Julius: Because she will make your life miserable. Do you know how many times I've been right and still had to apologize? 469,531 times!
- Narrator: And counting!
- Chris: How is that even possible?
- Julius: Because she doesn't care!
- Chris: It doesn't make any sense!
- Julius: Exactly. Look, that's the number one rule of living with women: Nothing makes sense. When you learn this, then you'll finally understand what it is to be a man. Wrong or right, you still have to be sorry.