Randall Park: Randall Park

On the Road Again

Randall Park

Dwayne Johnson: [recounting his move to Pennsylvania as a teenager] So, money wasn't coming in the way it used to, so he and my mom opened up a cleaning business. I had a side job after school slinging pizza, but the only thing I wanted to do was chase girls. And to get their attention, I thought that I had to look rich, hence all the stealing.
Sandy: Candidate Johnson, please, remember our media training session.
Dwayne Johnson: It's fine, Sandy.
Randall Park: [a little irked] Yeah, it's fine, Sandy.
Dwayne Johnson: So, my dad was still trying to wrestle any chance that he got, so my Uncle Afa from the Wild Samoans...
Randall Park: The Wild Samoans.
[he tries to growl like them]
Dwayne Johnson: Yeah, that's good. Borderline inappropriate.
Randall Park: Oh.
Dwayne Johnson: It was the tongue.
Randall Park: Yeah. Oh, sorry.
Dwayne Johnson: Yeah. Uh, so my Uncle Afa hooked my dad up with a promoter who got him booked on some local shows, which was great. I mean, we needed the money, but my dad was still very much reliving his glory days of the early '80s.

Karen: [at a flea market] Dwyane, can we go? There is a woman trying to sell me what I think is a racist syrup jar.
Dwayne Johnson (Age 15): Um, we gotta...
Rocky Johnson: Oh, wait, wait, no. You can't leave before the main event.
Dwayne Johnson (Age 15): [torn between a decision] For sure, we're staying. No way we're missing a Rocky Johnson show.
Rocky Johnson: That's my boy.
Hal: Rocky, showtime.
Rocky Johnson: Great, thanks, Hal.
[to Dwayne]
Rocky Johnson: I'll see you after the match?
Karen: No way we're staying. There is a man selling a pile of old baby shoes, and it is freaking me out.
Dwayne Johnson (Age 15): If you want to leave, go ahead, but I'm staying.
Karen: Why?
Dwayne Johnson (Age 15): He's my dad.
Randall Park: Like Karen, I'm also confused. Why did you stay?
Dwayne Johnson: He's my dad. That's it.

Randall Park: I'm Randall Park at Freedom High School, continuing our all-access coverage of the Dwayne Johnson presidential campaign.
Superintendent Broward: Thank you for joining us for the official opening of the Dwayne Johnson Library. Dwayne, we always knew that you were destined for greatness.
Dwayne Johnson: [in a sit-down interview] Nice lady. She made me sound good, but none of it was true. I mean, the only thing that people said I was destined to do was time.
Randall Park: [chuckling together] That's good.
Dwayne Johnson: As we all know, nobody's perfect, and we all screw up. I just happened to screw up a little bit more than most. As a matter of fact, Randall, when I first got here to Freedom High School, I was a hardcore shoplifter.
Randall Park: Mm-hmm.
[to the cameramen]
Randall Park: Hey, just so you know, you guys have to come in tighter when he says stuff like that.
[the camera starts to move]
Randall Park: Well, it's too late now. It's too late. Back up. Just anticipate.

Dwayne Johnson: [visiting his old high school] So, we moved here to Bethlehem from Nashville because my dad wasn't wrestling for Vince McMahon anymore.
Randall Park: That's your father...
Dwayne Johnson: Mm-hmm.
Randall Park: [imitating a ring announcer] ..."Soul Man" Rocky Johnson!
Dwayne Johnson: Nice, man. Good job. Give me some.
Randall Park: [fist-bumping] All right.
Dwayne Johnson: You practiced that, didn't you?
Randall Park: I did. I don't know if I mentioned it, but I used to be an actor.
Dwayne Johnson: You have.
Randall Park: I have?
Dwayne Johnson: Yeah, yeah.
Randall Park: Okay.
Dwayne Johnson: Multiple times.