James Patrick Stuart credited as playing...
Private
- The Skipper: No, I can't set foot on Denmark.
- Private: Why not, Skipper?
- The Skipper: Well, that's private, Private, between me and the Danes.
- The Skipper: Say goodbye to Earth, boys.
- Private: But Skipper, Earth has some of my favorite things, like cookies and oxygen.
- The Skipper: ...and brown paper packages tied up in strings. Kowalski, light this candle!
- The Skipper: Gentlemen, we need a vacation. A vacation from that lemur.
- Private: Perhaps we could visit a zoo. They have pandas and hippos and a lovely house of reptiles.
- The Skipper: Private, you do realize we live in a zoo.
- Private: But we could visit a different zoo.
- The Skipper: Rico?
- [Rico slaps Private upside the head]
- Roger: So the Friedman's youngest, Benny, picks me up in Florida.
- Private: Uh-huh.
- Roger: They were visiting their Nana in Tampa, but that's neither here nor there.
- Private: Uh-huh.
- Roger: I was just a baby at the time, but you change, you grow... next thing I know, I'm flushed down the toilet.
- Kowalski: Fascinating.
- Roger: Actually, it's not as bad as it seems.
- The Skipper: Gentlemen, I give you the Penguin One.
- Private: Is it safe, Skipper?
- [a piece falls off the rocket]
- The Skipper: Kowalski?
- Kowalski: Technically speaking, maybe.
- Kowalski: According to rumors, the previous occupant of this habitat did disappear...
- Private: ...under mysterious circumstances!
- Marlene: He was transfered, to Toledo.
- Mort: [scared] Toledo?
- [All look scared]
- The Skipper: [Holding a flashlight under his face] Ohio!
- [Mort screams and runs away, slamming into a wall]
- Max the Cat: Greetings, my little friend. Pardon me, but are you a penguin?
- Private: Why, yes, I am.
- Max the Cat: A flightless bird! That means no flapping, no flying... no resistance.