Laura Linney credited as playing...
North Pole Computer
- Bryony: [Gwen has just received her present, Arthur is now Santa, and Bryony speaks over the public address system in Mission Control at the North Pole using a HOHO, which is visible on the big screen] Drop complete.
- [the L.E.D. display above the mainframe in Mission Control switches to green and shows 0000000000]
- Bryony: And we have a new Santa!
- [Arthur peeps out the window]
- North Pole Computer: [All of the elves in Mission Control begin cheering] Christmas accomplished.
- Mrs. Santa: [Back up on the S-1 learning that Arthur is now Santa, having successfully delivered Gwen's present] Oh, Arthur.
- [Pulls levers in the S-1]
- North Pole Computer: [the elves continue cheering over Arthur, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays over the music system in Mission Control] Commence decking halls.
- Peter: You know, I've always liked Arthur. Do you think he likes espresso?
- Steve: [Steve gets back onto the S-1 after having a fight with Spanish Pedro in Trelew, Mexico over the bicycle] Okay, so I'm not great with children. Does that make me a bad Santa?
- Steve: [Faces Santa and keys in 23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew into the S-1's GPS to see it it would come up with a list] You're hardly perfect. Let me guess. You put in the address, you saw a list of Trelews, and just clicked on the first one? You're just like Arthur.
- Santa: [Looks at Steve] Am I?
- S-1 Computer: [the phone on the S-1's Bridge rings] North Pole incoming.
- Elf: [Steve, Santa, and Mrs. Santa look at the S-1's videophone and see Arthur cycling across Trelew, England riding to Gwen's on her Twinkle Bike] Sir, the soldiers have shot the sleigh. But, sir. It's Arthur. He's still going.
- Santa: Arthur?
- North Pole Computer: [Before the closing credits roll] And may one hundred percent of your Christmases be white!
- Santa: [Trying to operate the S-1 himself, denting it and jolting it violently, while flashing red lights flash all over the S-1's bridge] I, um... 23 Mimosa Avenue, Trelew.
- Mrs. Santa: [Reading the manual] Reading up. There's no harm in using a manual. Men.
- Santa: [Agitated, pressing buttons, levers, and knobs all over the bridge causing the S-1 to rock and sway violently] Margaret, I order you to disembark. It's not safe. Unh!
- Mrs. Santa: [Trying to calm Santa] Piffle. I did a microlight flying course on the internet. It can't be that different.
- Santa: [Steve appears at the doors to the bridge] Oh! Steve.
- Steve: [Santa accidentally leans on a lever and the S-1 jolts more violently] You've dented it! You take it out without asking?
- Mrs. Santa: [Stabilizes the S-1] Malcolm, you told me he knew. You know how Steve feels about his S-1.
- Santa: [Presses more buttons and levers causing it to rock and sway even more violently] It's MY S-1. S for "Santa". I'm flying to this child.
- Steve: Of course she's all that matters. Not me, your son. Not the two billion things I did right tonight. No!
- Santa: This is about the pool table, isn't it? I told you, you should've written to me.
- Steve: [shouting] I was eight. You're my dad!
- Mrs. Santa: [shouting] For goodness sake!
- Mrs. Santa: [Slams her cup down on the controls] Arthur and Grandsanta are out there probably not wearing nearly enough layers and you two are bickering over a big red toy?
- Santa: I'm... I'm not bickering. If Steven could just stand back.
- [Activates the airbag]
- Santa: Ooh!
- S-1 Computer: [Airbag inflates] Air bag.
- Santa: You drive, Steven.
- Steve: Thank you.
- [Puts on his gloves and fires up the S-1]
- Steve: So since gift delivery to child 47785BXK is all that seems to matter, I'll do it myself. Then we'll pick up Arthur and Grandsanta from whatever ditch they've ended up in.
- S-1 Computer: [Steve pulls the main lever on the S-1 to go at full throttle] Maximum thrust.