Maude Apatow credited as playing...
Lexi Howard
- Fezco: [to Lexi] Yo. You Rue's friend, right?
- Lexi Howard: Yeah, since like preschool. Sorry, I don't know why I said that.
- Fezco: Nah, you good. You met where you met. Yo, what was your name again?
- Lexi Howard: Lexi.
- Fezco: Lexi. I like that. That's a nice name.
- Lexi Howard: Thanks.
- Lexi Howard: Can I ask you a personal question?
- Fezco: What's up?
- Lexi Howard: How do you justify dealing drugs then?
- Fezco: Well, I mean, my Uncle Carl got diabetes from eatin' too much McDonald's. You don't see nobody goin' after they ass.
- Lexi Howard: Yeah, but if I were God, I don't know if I'd let McDonald's CEO in Heaven. I'd be like, "Fuck that guy."
- Fezco: Yeah, that's a good point. I have to get back to you on that one.
- Fezco: So, did you, like, have a good Christmas, or are you Jewish or somethin'?
- Lexi Howard: Yeah, well, my mom's Jewish, but she always says, "If the Christians can steal Christmas from the Pagans, then the Jews can also."
- Fezco: You say the Christians stole Christmas?
- Lexi Howard: Well, in order to convert the Germanic Pagans who, like, celebrated winter solstice and stuff, the Christians were like, "Fuck it. Let's just say Jesus was born this day, and you can hang tinsel and stuff."
- Fezco: How you just go and change the man's birthday?
- Lexi Howard: Well, in the same way King James was rewriting the Bible on one side of the castle, and had witches tryna turn his pee into gold on the other.
- Fezco: Yo, how the fuck do you know all of this?
- Lexi Howard: I don't know. By reading.
- Fezco: Do you, like, not believe in God? Damn, Lexi. You fuckin' fearless.