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Mark Feuerstein and Jill Flint in Royal Pains (2009)

Mark Feuerstein: Hank Lawson

Crazy Love

Royal Pains

Mark Feuerstein credited as playing...

Hank Lawson

Photos

Quotes9

  • Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz: [Hank learns Boris has a shark in his basement] Katie studies them, so when this one became ill, I called on her.
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: It's sick?
  • Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz: Well, not anymore. Quite commonly, sharks in captivity have trouble with... buoyancy. Katie went in the tank to feed her through her stomach and help her float.
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: Okay. So that's why Katie was in there, but why is the shark in there?
  • Boris Kuester von Jurgens-Ratenicz: Is that medically relevant, Hank?
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: No, it's not, but right now I feel like I'm living on a Bond villain's property, so explain it to me, or I'm packing up my stuff and I'm leaving.
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: Well, I don't know what "perling" means. Maybe it's something I wanna do.
  • [Katie calls Hank an MSG]
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: [to Evan] What's an "MSG?"
  • Evan R. Lawson: Medical super god.
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: Oh, all right.
  • Evan R. Lawson: Miniature sex gimp. Mumbling snow gerbil.
  • Divya Katdare: Brazilian augmentation... A scooter to match her shoes... They're crazy.
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: Or they're in love.
  • Evan R. Lawson: You're welcome for that, by the way, you know, dragging you out to Boris' party in the first place, getting you and Jill together.
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: Oh, okay, so you're gonna take credit for everything that happens in my life post-Brooklyn, man?
  • Evan R. Lawson: A butterfly flaps its wings.
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: Okay, so about this MSG thing...
  • Jill Casey: Ugh. It's not a thing. It's really no big deal.
  • Evan R. Lawson: Macho surfing guru, right? No? Mucus-spewing growth?
  • Jill Casey: [to Evan after he talks his way onto Katie's bad side] Oh, you just dug your own grave.
  • Katie: [to Jill] Yeah, he's no MSG.
  • Jill Casey: No.
  • Katie: [to Evan] Don't worry, though. All you missed was a couple months of casual, really good sex.
  • Evan R. Lawson: Whoa-whoa, w-okay, I'm an MSG. Look at... What the hell's an MSG?
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: Yeah, you guys gotta tell us what that means. It's enough already.
  • Jill Casey: It's stupid.
  • Evan R. Lawson: Medieval slut gatherer, man seeking guacamole, manatees...
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: What happened in Caracas?
  • Divya Katdare: Should've stayed in Caracas.
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: Evan, I have a patient who just passed his physical with flying colors.
  • Evan R. Lawson: So what's the problem?
  • Dr. Hank Lawson: The problem is he's sick, and I totally missed it.

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