Len Carlson: Captain Thaddeus Harris

For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll

Captain Thaddeus Harris

[the bride and groom shove their knife into the cake. Harris comes flying out the top, screaming in pain and clutching his rear]
Carey Mahoney: Why, Captain, this really does take the cake.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: Mahoney, I'll have you put in solitary for this!
Carey Mahoney: Aw, you'd never do that, Captain. You're too sweet a guy.
[Zed brushes some of the icing off of the cake with his finger and licks it]
Zed McGlunk: Yeah, real sweet.
[Harris sobs]