Kunal Nayyar credited as playing...
Raj Koothrappali
- Rajesh Koothrappali: [as they look for the cricket] I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight?
- Howard Wolowitz: Tell you what; I'm willing to bet ANYTHING, that's an ordinary field cricket.
- Sheldon: I can't take your money.
- Howard Wolowitz: What's the matter? You chicken?
- Sheldon: I've always found that an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not, by nature, at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Chickens can't climb trees.
- Sheldon: Thank God.
- Howard Wolowitz: Okay.
- [Holds hands up in surrender]
- Howard Wolowitz: I believe a chicken made you his bitch.
- Sheldon Cooper: What was that?
- Rajesh Koothrappali: My stomach. Indian food doesn't agree with me. Ironic, isn't it?
- Leonard Hofstadter: It's just that the sex was not the way I dreamt it would be.
- Howard Wolowitz: Hell, sex is never the way I dreamed.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: That's because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.
- Professor Crawley: I haven't even packed yet, and you're already measuring my lab for one of your godless laser machines.
- Howard Wolowitz: No, you don't understand. We just want to ask you a question.
- Professor Crawley: Let me ask you one first. What's a world renowned entomologist with a doctorate and 20 years of experience to do with his life when the university cuts off the funding for his lab, huh?
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Ask rhetorical questions that make people uncomfortable?
- Sheldon Cooper: Did I cross a line?
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Of course. You...
- Howard Wolowitz: No, let him figure it out by himself.
- Howard Wolowitz: [a cricket chirps] What was that?
- Sheldon Cooper: Hold on.
- [Looks at watch while cricket chirps]
- Sheldon Cooper: That is a snowy tree cricket.
- Howard Wolowitz: How can you tell?
- Sheldon Cooper: In 1890, Emile Dolbear determined that there was a fixed relationship between the number of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket and the ambient temperature; a precise relationship that is not present with ordinary field crickets.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: And how do you know what the ambient room temperature is?
- Sheldon Cooper: According to our agreement, I have unilateral control over the thermostat since the sweaty night in '06.
- Howard Wolowitz: No, you're misunderstanding. A shiksa goddess isn't an actual goddess. You don't pray *to* them, we prey *on* them.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Whatever, dude. The point is, Leonard's got one and you don't.
- Howard Wolowitz: Don't push me, Sheldon. I may be small, but I took kung fu when I was thirteen and I remember a good deal of it!
- Sheldon: Oh, really? Well, I grew up with an older brother and a very contentious twin sister, and I believe I could easily best you in any physical confrontation, be it noogies, swirlies, or the classic "Why are you hitting yourself?"
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Ooh. Big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.
- Rajesh Koothrappali: [as Sheldon descends down the elevator shaft] Be careful.
- Sheldon Cooper: If I were not being careful, you telling me to be careful would not make me careful.
- Professor Crawley: What's your deal? Are they planning to outsource my job to Bangalore?
- Rajesh Koothrappali: I'm from New Delhi.
- Howard Wolowitz: Sheldon, you're wrong! Wolverine was not born with bone claws.
- Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think if I were wrong, I'd know it?
- Howard Wolowitz: First of all...
- Rajesh Koothrappali: Give it up, dude. You're arguing with a crazy person.