Robert Webb credited as playing...
Jeremy Usborne
- Jeremy Usborne: Oh my life, it's a text from Elena! "Thinking of you." She's thinking of me, Mark! Or at least she was, six hours ago. With 3 kisses! Oh my God, this is massive, I'm going over there.
- Mark Corrigan: Don't be ridiculous. If text kisses were real kisses the world would be an orgy.
- Jeremy Usborne: God... I'm evil.
- Mark Corrigan: No, Jez, the absolute worst thing anyone could say about you is that you were a selfish moral blank, whose lazy cynicism and sneering ironic take on the world encapsulates everything wrong with a generation. But you, my friend, are not evil.
- Mark Corrigan: [driving] Please, Jeremy, I need you to guide, to advise. I don't even know about road signs. What does that one mean?
- Jeremy Usborne: I don't know. Nobody knows. It doesn't matter, it's lost knowledge, like how the aliens did the pyramids.
- Mark Corrigan: Slaves did the pyramids, Jeremy. Thousands and thousands of slaves.
- Jeremy Usborne: God, you're depressing.
- Mark Corrigan: [voiceover] Don't blame me, blame Rameses II.
- Jeremy Usborne: I tried to kill her, Mark. I think I tried to bloody drown her.
- Mark Corrigan: What? But you rescued her. Why would you rescue her if you wanted to kill her.
- Jeremy Usborne: I was thinking "I want her to fall in" and she did fall in.
- Mark Corrigan: So? I wanted interest rates to fall to historic lows and they did, that doesn't make me the Governor of the Bank of England.
- Jeremy Usborne: Who knows what I'm capable of? I could kill anyone in this room with a pencil.
- Mark Corrigan: You really couldn't.