F. Murray Abraham credited as playing...
Bert Di Grasso
- Valentina: I mean, I'm impressed that you are even here.
- Bert Di Grasso: Why are you impressed?
- Valentina: It's a long trip from Los Angeles, and you are quite old, no?
- Albie Di Grasso: God. It just seems like the body would naturally stop getting horny once you're past the age of procreation, you know? Like at 50, you would just stop.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Fifty? Fifty's not that old.
- Albie Di Grasso: It just seems undignified.
- Bert Di Grasso: I'm still virile, by the way. I could still impregnate a woman.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Oh.
- Albie Di Grasso: No girl should have to be exposed to an old guy's junk.
- Bert Di Grasso: It's not like it was ever so beautiful to look at anyway. I mean, it's a penis. It's not a sunset.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Dad, you gotta knock it off.
- Bert Di Grasso: Oh. What's the problem?
- Dominic Di Grasso: What are you doing? I mean, what's... the point?
- Bert Di Grasso: Flirting is one of the pleasures of life.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Do you actually think you have a chance with any of these women?
- Bert Di Grasso: Oh, don't be rude.
- Dominic Di Grasso: I'm just saying, you're 80 years old.
- Bert Di Grasso: Well, I'm still a man. And I get older and older, but the women I desire remain young. Natural, right? You can relate to that.
- Albie Di Grasso: Do you still, like, jerk off?
- Bert Di Grasso: Doctors say you need to release once a day... otherwise you get backed up.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Wait a second. Doctors say you need to jerk off once a day?
- Bert Di Grasso: That's right. That's right.
- Dominic Di Grasso: Which doctors say that?
- Bert Di Grasso: You need to drain the sack.
- Dominic Di Grasso: They say that?
- Bert Di Grasso: Mm-hmm. Common knowledge.