Ashley Park credited as playing...
Audrey
- [everyone admires Audrey's cheongsam dress]
- Nai Nai Chen: Ooh. Wow! You look gorgeous. You know, I wore that dress the night I was deflowered by the love of my life.
- Audrey: Aw.
- Lolo: Grandpa?
- Nai Nai Chen: No.
- Audrey: Oh.
- Lolo: [chuckles] Yeah. Um... so, when we get to Beijing, you're gonna meet up with your BTS friends, right?
- Audrey: Yeah, awesome.
- Deadeye: Yes. @Jinderalla88, @JHopesGirl, @SugaIsMyDaddy.
- Audrey: Oh, online people?
- Deadeye: Yeah, they're my best friends. I went to @Jinderalla88's wedding on Zoom.
- Audrey: Awesome.
- Deadeye: He married a pillow.
- Kat: [to Lolo] This is all your fault.
- Lolo: How is it my fault? I'm not the one who chose the train cabin with the one obvious drug dealer just 'cause I'm a wee bit racist against my own people.
- Audrey: I'm not racist.
- Lolo: Hey, "not racist." But you don't like boba and you've never fucked an Asian guy, so...
- Kat: Damn. Still?
- Audrey: No, no. Remember that foreign exchange student from Kazakhstan? B... Bizi... Bizip? Uh, Bazid?
- Kat: David?
- Audrey: David. David.
- Lolo: Is Kazakhstan even in Asia?
- Audrey: They look kind of Asian sometimes.
- Kat: Oh, my God!
- Lolo: Okay. Racist.
- Lolo: Her address is on there. She lives in Haiching, which is super close to Nai Nai's. And we'll just stay with them.
- Deadeye: Oh, no, no, no. She can't handle it!
- Audrey: Wait, no. Why not? I can handle it.
- Lolo: Nai Nai's like, Chinese-Chinese. Like, "super long hair coming out of a mole and refuses to pluck it 'cause it's bad luck" Chinese.
- Kat: "Forces you to overeat, and then comments on your weight later" Chinese.
- Lolo: Like, literally, "take her bra off, wipe her under-boob sweat in the middle of a Buddhist temple and make you sniff it" Chinese.
- Kat: "Has a plastic bag full of other plastic bags" Chinese.
- Audrey: No, no, no, no. If we do not have our passports, then we can't go home. And if we can't go home, then we can't go to our jobs. And if we don't have jobs, we can't get more money to get more coke. I want more coke. Oh, my God. Is anyone else itchy?
- Helen: [in English] You, Korea girl.
- Audrey: Uh...
- [Helen motions at adoption papers]
- Kat: [reading papers] Your mom's name is Min Park.
- Audrey: That... That's a mistake. I'm... I'm Chinese. I... I went to Chinese school for a year. I... I... We... We celebrated Chinese New Year's. I...
- Deadeye: But Korea's great. I mean, there's... There's mukbang, soju, Hyundai, Gangnam Style, half of Hines Ward, half of Charles Melton, all of Randall Park.
- [while tripping, Deadeye eats a typha plant that she thinks is a hot dog on a stick. With her mouth full of pollen, she screams and runs off into a field]
- Audrey: Deadeye! If you find coke, come back!
- Lolo: [rapping a K-pop version of WAP] Wet ass pussy/beat it up, Lolo/catch a charge/Kumon smart and Kumon hard/Put this pussy/on a girl named Grace/Who got them A's/on a report card
- Kat, Audrey: Hop on top, I wanna ride/In a rice rocket/that's a Hyundai/Cut up that duck/don't cut up the eyes/This pussy is wet/we know how to dive
- Deadeye: [background] Olympics
- Lolo: Thai me up
- Kat: Like I'm tea iced
- Lolo: Let's go play
- Audrey: Just not on the slide
- Lolo, Kat, Audrey: I want you to park/that plastic couch
- Lolo: Right in this dusty garage
- Frank: Uh, eleven to four. Kicked my ass again, Sullivan.
- [Audrey chuckles]
- Frank: That's pretty good for a...
- Kevin: Woman.
- Mike: Asian.
- Frank: No, I was gonna say "associate." Wait, can we say "Asian" anymore or is that offensive?
- Kevin: We can't say anything anymore.
- Frank: You're goddamn right, Kevin! So shut the fuck up! I'm an ally. I shop at 99 Ranch Market. Some of us are doin' the work.
- Audrey: Yes. I really appreciated that Mulan-themed office birthday party.
- Frank: You're welcome.
- Audrey: We don't need fuckin' passports. Let's go. Let's think. No bad ideas. Let's go.
- Lolo: We could flash our titties and just hitchhike the whole way.
- Audrey: That's a bad idea.
- Deadeye: We could take a rocket to space and then try to land in Korea. No customs in the atmosphere.
- Audrey: I feel like that's worse.
- Deadeye: Okay, uh, we become mail-order brides, uh, and then we... We find a really big envelope and then we could just...
- [makes whoosh noise]
- Audrey: I fuckin' love that spirit, Deadeye. Just keep thinking.
- Deadeye: We take coke again and we just sprint.
- Audrey: [Tuts] No more coke!