Rainn Wilson credited as playing...
Dwight Schrute
- Dwight Schrute: You know what? You can all have jobs at Schrute Farms as human scarecrows. It doesn't pay much and you can't unionize.
- Dwight Schrute: Voodoo Mama Juju, explain your dalliance with the dark arts.
- Angela Martin: It's not my fault. I was exposed to "Harry Potter."
- Dwight Schrute: I know you did it!
- Dwight Schrute: [to the camera crew] I know she didn't do it. It's never the person you most suspect. It's also never the person you least suspect, since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Therefore, I know the killer to be Phyllis, a.k.a. Beatrix Bourbon, the person I most medium suspect.
- Jim Halpert: Okay, with all due respect to everyone here, I think the most worthy opponent of you is you.
- Dwight Schrute: That is correct, unless there happen to be measles present.
- Phyllis Vance: [in her game character] "I overheard you asking the butler where the pistol was kept."
- [Michael gasps]
- Dwight Schrute: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm the butler. What, you were listening in on that? Oh, you rich people, you think you can do whatever you want to the servant class!
- Michael Scott: No, no, no. Don't turn this into a political thing.
- Dwight Schrute: I will poison your food.
- Dwight Schrute: Someone attack me. Kevin, go!
- Kevin Malone: No way. Last time, you pulled my pants down and then tried to choke me with my own shoelace.
- Dwight Schrute: False. I did choke you with your shoelace.
- Meredith Palmer: I'm the dead body and these are my brain chunks.
- Dwight Schrute: Hey, shut up, you're dead.