Mike Henry credited as playing...
Cleveland Brown • Rallo Tubbs • Additional Voices
- Barry Shadwell: [to Cleveland] That's my ex-stepson, Larry. What he needs is a girlfriend.
- Cleveland Brown: Well, I could fix him up with my stepdaughter, Roberta. She loves white idiots.
- Donna Tubbs: Roberta, what's wrong?
- Roberta Tubbs: What's wrong? Here I am, innocently trying to exploit Cleveland's celebrity connection and the whole time, he's just trying to pimp me out.
- Rallo Tubbs: [over the intercom] First good idea you had since you showed up.
- Cleveland Brown: What the hell was that?
- Donna Tubbs: It's Rallo. I got him an intercom so he doesn't feel left out.
- Rallo Tubbs: [over the intercom] So how much we getting for the girl?
- Roberta Tubbs: Shut up, Rallo.
- [turns off the intercom]
- Rallo Tubbs: [off-screen] Hey, that's my connection to the outside world! I exist! Rallo!
- Barry Shadwell: [to Cleveland] Hey, uh, you got something in your mustache.
- Cleveland Brown: What?
- Barry Shadwell: Me.
- [kisses Cleveland]
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: [to Cleveland] I saw you kiss Mr. Shadwell last night. Daddy, is there something you wish to tell me?
- Cleveland Brown: What? I didn't kiss him, he kissed me.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: Okay, but you didn't try to stop him.
- Cleveland Brown: Look, he kissed me. I was surprised. It's over.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: I understand. So do you just like kissing football players or are all athletes fair game?
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: Oh, Daddy, I know you're not gay. You're too fat to be gay.
- Cleveland Brown: And you are too. Love you, fatty.
- Barry Shadwell: [to Cleveland about the kiss] Hey, man, it's not all my fault. I mean, you wanted me to kiss you.
- Cleveland Brown: What? What on earth would make you think that?
- Barry Shadwell: You're joking, right? You're always staring at me, you know all my stats, your voice is slightly gay and your mustache is groomed.
- Cleveland Brown: My mustache is for the ladies.
- Barry Shadwell: Look, listen, let's forget the kiss ever happened.
- Cleveland Brown: What kiss?
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: [off-screen] When you two were on the porch the other night.
- Cleveland Brown, Barry Shadwell: Shut up!
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: [off-screen] Don't tell me to shut up, you banana slammers.
- Cleveland Brown: [to Donna] Darling, sit down. I have something to tell you.
- Donna Tubbs: Oh, honey, if it's that you kissed Barry Shadwell, I know.
- Cleveland Brown: What?
- Donna Tubbs: Your son's been telling the whole town.
- Cleveland Brown: That fat son of a bitch.
- Cleveland Brown Jr.: [off-screen] I may be fat, but I don't kiss boys.
- Donna Tubbs: Cleveland, listen up. You're acting like a homophobe. That's as bad as being a racist.
- Cleveland Brown: No, it isn't. I don't wanna kiss a white man either.
- Donna Tubbs: Look, honey, it's just sexuality. We're all somewhere on the grid. I know you're not gay, you know you're not gay. Everyone knows you're not gay, but I'd rather have everyone think you were gay than think you were a bigot.