- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [on the phone] Let me get this straight: you want me to spell my name again? Okay. Big "D"as in dimwit. Little "I" as in idiot. Big "N" as in nimrod. Little "O" as in obtuse. Double "Z" as in ZZ Top... No, I'm not kidding!
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Hey, how'd it go at the hotel?
- Ziva David: Prince Sayif is a chauvinistic, royal pain in the tush!
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Well, he's not used to anyone saying no to him.
- Ziva David: You may have to hire someone to protect him from me.
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: When you offered to take me on the tour, I suspected you had an ulterior motive. What's on your mind?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Your son.
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: What has, uh... Junior done now?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Tony likes to hide behind the face of a clown. But he's the best young agent I've ever worked with.
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: You have children, Gibbs?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Had. A daughter. But unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to know her as an adult.
- Ziva David: [to the team as the two princes are arguing] Sayif is getting chewed out for his western ways. His brother believes that his pleasure seeking lifestyle brought on the attack.
- [Sayif yells something in Arabic]
- Ziva David: That is too disgusting to translate.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Have to break one of your rules, boss. Number 6: Never say you're sorry. I let things get out of control in the hotel room.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, it's covered. Number 18.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Oh, yeah. It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission. Am I forgiven?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: No. Been distracted by your father.
- Special Agent Ziva David: How many amendments to the US Constitution?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Well, let's see... the Bill of Rights is the first ten, Prohibition's 18. So I'm guessing... 23.
- Special Agent Ziva David: 27.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Nobody likes a smart-ass, David.
- Special Agent Ziva David: How come I have to study all of this and you don't?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I was born here.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I've heard the saying "he got blown out of his shoes" but I never thought I'd see it.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Now if the explosion had knocked his socks off that would be impressive, wouldn't it?
- Abby Sciuto: [observing DiNozzo, Sr] Maybe Tony didn't have a mother. Maybe he was cloned.
- Dr. Donald Mallard: There certainly is a strong familial resemblance.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I told you to handle it.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I spoke to him. I think he's losing his hearing.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Give me a reason not to bench you.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [Long pause] I won't let him out of my sight.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Why'd you do it?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: He's my father. He is who he is. I couldn't bust him. Sometimes it's better to keep what you know to yourself.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Amen.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [on Tony] When's the last time you talked to him? I mean, really talked to him?
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: We keep in touch.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Four years ago, your son came very close to dying from pneumonic plague. I expected to see you. You didn't show then, why are you here now?
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: ...He never told me he was sick.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Oh, so you *don't* keep in touch.
- Leon Vance: Doctor, how's your mother doing?
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Thank you for asking. She is, uh... slipping away slowly, losing touch with reality. When I visited her this morning in her room, she insisted that the clock on the wall was going backwards.
- Leon Vance: Actually, I've had days that felt like that.
- [Vance leaves Autopsy]
- Dr. Donald Mallard: Haven't we all.
- Prince Sayif Ibn Alwaan: Look, I am sorry about Walid, Agent Gibbs. But if you know anything about the Saudi Royal family, assassinations are part of our lives. I came to the United States for flight training and I'm not going to let what happened stop me.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Okay, I have no influence with your country. But I do with the United States Navy. And I'll have your training stopped immediately.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: [Entering] Hi. Jethro Gibbs.
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: Oh, Agent Gibbs. Well you finally get to meet the *real* Tony DiNozzo.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [as Gibbs give his father a tour of NCIS] I'm flashing back. Boarding school. Headmaster wants to talk to my dad.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [on the phone] Oh, you would like me to spell my name for you *again*... are you guys in India?
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: [to Ziva] Junior mentioned you. But he never told me what you looked like. You are *stunning,* Ziva.
- [Ziva chuckles]
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: Do you ever think of wearing your hair down?
- [Ziva notices Tony staring from upstairs. The Senior turns and sees his son]
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: Junior.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Dad. What are you doing here?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Tony inherited his personality from you. But I get the feeling there's a lot about your life you don't share.
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: [pause] I should tell you to piss off! But I do know that Junior thinks the world of you. So I'll keep this civil.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: You're just gonna let him get away?
- Prince Omar Ibn Alwaan: He is still my son, Agent Gibbs. Fathers do what they have to do for their children.
- [Ziva returns from protection detail]
- Anthony DiNozzo Sr: Sayif behaving?
- Ziva David: [shortly] He's fine.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Who's watching Prince Charming?
- Ziva David: He's in the air. His check ride. He cannot get in trouble for the next three hours.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Unless his instructor ejects him at 20,000 feet.
- [Ziva's expression very clearly says, "if only."]