David Cross credited as playing...
Ian
- Dave Seville: Take the suit off, then.
- Ian Hawke: I can't.
- Dave Seville: Why not?
- Ian Hawke: I'm not wearing anything underneath.
- [sees an island]
- Ian Hawke: Look!
- Dave Seville: It's okay. I believe you.
- Ian Hawke: No, look!
- Dave Seville: All right, Ian, get everyone to the raft. If the volcano blows before I make it out of here, you have to promise me you'll...
- Ian Hawke: Leave without you, got it!
- Dave Seville: [cleaning gravy off his pants] Unbelievable. Gravy pants.
- [sees the cruise ship's pelican mascot]
- Dave Seville: Hey! Hey.
- [they approach each other]
- Dave Seville: You have a problem with me?
- Ian Hawke: [points at Dave] Oh, you *bet* I have a problem with you.
- Dave Seville: Why?
- Ian Hawke: As if you didn't know.
- Dave Seville: [shakes his head] I *don't* know.
- [the pelican mascot removes his head, revealing the frowning face of Ian Hawke; Dave stares wide-eyed]
- Dave Seville: Ian? What are you doing here?
- Ian Hawke: I'm working, Dave.
- Dave Seville: This is your job?
- Ian Hawke: Yeah, not too many record labels are interested in hiring the guy who blew it with the Chipmunks, blew it with the Chipettes and passed on Justin Bieber... twice.
- Dave Seville: Look, Ian, I'm sorry you lost your job and... your dignity, but spilling things-- hot things-- on me isn't gonna bring any of that stuff back.
- Ian Hawke: You're right, Dave. It's... too late for me to get my old life back, but it's not too late to ruin yours.
- Dave Seville: You wanna ruin my life?
- Ian Hawke: Why don't we just start with this vacation? If I see those chipmunks break so much as one rule, I'm going *straight* to Captain Correlli. You're in *my* house now!
- [chuckles]
- Ian Hawke: Although-- I mean, technically, it's not a house. It's a ship.
- [seriously]
- Ian Hawke: The point is, I'll be watching you.
- [walks away without taking his eyes off Dave]
- Ian Hawke: Like a hawk!
- [puts his pelican head on backwards; Dave shakes his head and leaves]