Aziz Ansari credited as playing...
Tom Haverford
- April Ludgate: [as Ron types loudly on his typewriter] Okay, somebody's got to do something. I'm getting a cluster headache.
- Jerry Gergich: Oh, whoa, whoa, he's leaving!
- Tom Haverford: Let's go! I'm gonna throw it away!
- [Tries to lift the typewriter]
- Tom Haverford: No, I'm not. It weighs a billion tons.
- Jerry Gergich: What is he typing anyway?
- Donna Meagle: [Reading] "If you sons of bitches try to remove this typewriter, I'll kill you."
- [Everyone runs back to their desks when Ron comes back]
- Ron Swanson: I'm going to type every word I know! Rectangle! America! Megaphone! Monday! Butthole!