Alison Brie credited as playing...
Annie Edison
- Annie Edison: Jeff, you made up a professor, and he just appeared out of thin air. You're not the least bit curious how that happened?
- Jeff Winger: My latest theory? Maybe I'm a god. I've denied the signs for too long.
- Annie Edison: This is so typical. You're just gonna blow off what happened?
- Jeff Winger: Yes, especially when not blowing it off might cost me my free credit. Now, do me a favor. Be very un-Annie and blow it off too.
- [Annie walks backwards in front of Jeff]
- Annie Edison: Oh sure. Oh, I'll just blow it off. I'll just blow everything off. Heck, I guess I'll just blow off walking.
- [She stops and Jeff bumps into her]
- Jeff Winger: Okay.
- Annie Edison: And now I'll just blow off standing.
- [Falls to the floor. Jeff keeps walking]
- Annie Edison: I'm just blowing everything off. I'll blow off talking language.
- Jeff Winger: Okay.
- Annie Edison: Blee blee blah blah bluh bluh bluh blah.
- Annie Edison: Do you understand what a conspiracy is? When you conspire with everyone you come across, you're not really conspiring with anyone. You're just doing random crap.
- Jeff Winger: How about this one?
- [He tries opening a door]
- Annie Edison: No, that's Professor Huyck's class. History of... something.
- Jeff Winger: You can't pronounce it?
- Annie Edison: No, it literally says "History of Something".
- Jeff Winger: Let me see that.
- [reading from the page]
- Jeff Winger: "Principles of Intermediate"? "Studyology"? "Class 101"? Look: this one just says "Learning" with an exclamation point!
- Annie Edison: Exactly: there's a conspiracy here. A dark, vast conspiracy that may just go all the way to the top.
- Jeff Winger: This is Greendale, Annie. If there's a conspiracy, it goes all the way to *slightly* below the middle.
- Abed Nadir: Welcome to Fluffytown. No smoking, no farting, no pillow fighting.
- Annie Edison: We're in a chase.
- Abed Nadir: That's allowed.
- Annie Edison: What is this place?
- Professor Sean Garrity: This, Annie, is night school. Every student, every teacher, every class. Figments. Puffs of hot air from the lips of a ghost in the shadow of a unicorn's dream. I made it up. Night school doesn't exist. I used to be a student here at Greendale like you, Jeff. Then one day, I invented a fake course to get a free credit. To keep up the lie I had to create a fake teacher, who needed other fake classes that needed to be filled with fake students and so on, and so on, and so on, exchetera.
- Jeff Winger: Did you just mispronounce et cetera?
- Professor Sean Garrity: My Latin class was fake, Jeff. Like all my classes, like my life. Aren't you listening?
- Jeff Winger: Yeah, I am. And a very familiar feeling is starting to come over me. I feel like someone is trying to teach me something.
- Jeff Winger: This is a test. He's teaching me about real conspiracies by erasing his existence.
- Annie Edison: My God, do you know what this means? That's how stupid Jeff thinks other people are.
- Jeff Winger: By the way, next time you walk someone to your fake lair, don't pass the Theater Department. Drama Professor Sean Garrity.
- Annie Edison: Whoa.
- Professor Sean Garrity: Thank God. That character was killing me. Word of advice, if you ever scrape the dean's car, don't tell him you're gonna pay him back in acting. On Thanksgiving, I'm supposed to crash his family dinner and accuse him of stealing my girlfriend.
- Annie Edison: This afternoon, in the cafeteria, we're having a Bio-Diorama-Rama. I heard one kid made a diorama about a world without dioramas.
- Jeff Winger: I'm not sure what lessons we've managed to teach each other, but I'm proud of Annie.She took the deception like Abed took to Cougar Town.
- Abed Nadir: It's really good.
- Jeff Winger: Especially when she went-off script.
- Annie Edison: You said to be convincing.
- Jeff Winger: And you think I'm lazy.
- Annie Edison: Prop guns? Jeff, what do you have in mind?
- Jeff Winger: A little demonstration for the dean on the dangers of trying to educate me. He doesn't like fake classes? Well, he's about to get a real lesson on the fact that Jeff Winger never learns.
- Jeff Winger: Annie!
- [Jeff tackles Annie to protect her]
- Jeff Winger: You okay?
- Annie Edison: Yeah.
- Jeff Winger: I probably didn't need to tackle you.
- Annie Edison: Probably not.
- Jeff Winger: Looks like someone sent us a message. A tiny, thoroughly underwhelming message.
- Annie Edison: If you're here to help me take my diorama to the Bio-Diorama-Rama, I can do it myself.
- Jeff Winger: Yes, you made that clear in your 11th I can do it myself text. You even work too hard at passive aggression, you know that?