Simon Helberg credited as playing...
Howard Wolowitz
- Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: Oh, good, Leonard's here.
- Raj Koothrappali: [astounded] Good?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Elizabeth, what's going on?
- Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: What's going on is you and Howard are my moving men, and Raj is my new landlord, and I don't have enough money to pay any of you.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Is she suggesting what I think she's suggesting?
- Howard Wolowitz: Yep. Welcome to the Penthouse Forum!
- Raj Koothrappali: OK, Show of hands, who's up for this?
- [Only Howard raises his hand]
- Leonard Hofstadter: We'll all be in naked in front of each other.
- Howard Wolowitz: I'm out.
- Howard Wolowitz: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
- Sheldon Cooper: Sarcasm?
- Howard Wolowitz: Yes, but mixed with genuine concern.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Are you having trouble sleeping? Because... boy... I was up all night.
- Raj Koothrappali: Did you get a cold, too?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No, but I was awake all night.
- Howard Wolowitz: If you want I can give you some of my mom's sleeping pills.
- Raj Koothrappali: She won't notice them missing?
- Howard Wolowitz: She doesn't know she takes them.
- Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton: You two figure out the details; I'm going to go change into something I don't mind getting ripped off my milky flesh!
- [she goes into another room, closing the door behind her]
- Howard Wolowitz: What the frack?
- Raj Koothrappali: Go away! She wants New Delhi, not kosher deli!
- [pause]
- Raj Koothrappali: Besides, you have a girlfriend!
- Howard Wolowitz: We broke up weeks ago!
- Raj Koothrappali: Why didn't you say anything?
- Howard Wolowitz: I was waiting for the right time! This is the right time!
- Howard Wolowitz: I have a two-part question.
- Sheldon Cooper: Go ahead.
- Howard Wolowitz: A: Are you kidding me? and B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?
- Sheldon Cooper: A: I rarely kid and B: When I do kid, you'll know it by my use of the word "Bazinga".
- Howard Wolowitz: So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes... Bazinga.
- Howard Wolowitz: [Raj takes a swig from his flask] What are you doing?
- Raj Koothrappali: Relax, it's Nyquil.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You still have a cold?
- Raj Koothrappali: Maybe, but I don't care. The good thing about Nyquil, it's like 10% booze. I call it the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine.
- Raj Koothrappali: [sneezes as he reaches the lunch table]
- Sheldon Cooper: [stops Raj from sitting down] Hold!
- Raj Koothrappali: What?
- Sheldon Cooper: Explain your sneeze.
- Raj Koothrappali: I'm sorry?
- Sheldon Cooper: Do you have allergies?
- Raj Koothrappali: No
- Sheldon Cooper: Is there too much pepper on your salad?
- Raj Koothrappali: I don't put pepper on salad.
- Sheldon Cooper: I heard enough.
- [Motions to the table behind him]
- Sheldon Cooper: Sit over there.
- Raj Koothrappali: Come on, I don't want to sit by myself.
- Sheldon Cooper: That's what Typhoid Mary said and clearly, her friends buckled.
- Raj Koothrappali: [to Leonard and Howard] Guys, help me.
- Howard Wolowitz: Sheldon, come on.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, it's just one sneeze.
- [Raj sneezes again]
- Leonard Hofstadter: You're on your own.
- Howard Wolowitz: See you, buddy.