Benjamin Bratt credited as playing...
Eduardo Pérez • El Macho
- El Macho: I am not afraid of your jelly guns.
- Dr. Nefario: Oh, this ain't no jelly gun, sunshine.
- [uses the fart gun on El Macho, knocking him out cold from the stench]
- Eduardo: [noticing his restaurant was broken into; in a serious tone] Somebody going to die tonight...
- Eduardo: [comes inside the shop] Hello?
- [Gru and Lucy force themselves to act natural]
- Eduardo: Buenos dias, my friends! I am Eduardo Perez, owner of Salsa y Salsa restaurant, across the mall. Now open for breakfast. And you are?
- Gru: Gru. And this is Lucy. And we are closed.
- Eduardo: This is just gonna take un momento. I am throwing a big Cinco de Mayo party, and I am going to need two hundred of your best cupcakes decorated with the Mexican flag. It looks something like this.
- [rips his shirt open, revealing a giant tattoo of the Mexican flag on his chest]
- Eduardo: What do you think?
- [flexes and makes his chest wave]
- Gru: [hides his eyes; disgusted] Look away!
- Lucy: [stares at Eduardo] You-Whoa... Hooo...
- Eduardo: Anyway, I have to go. It's all settled! I pick 'em up next week! Have a good day. Come by if you get a chance, okay?
- El Macho: [revealing his evil plan to set genetically modified Minions on the world] We can do it together.
- Gru: Together?
- El Macho: Together. I have admired your work for years, amigo. Stealing the moon? Are you kidding? We would be unstoppable. Men like you, men like me... we should be ruling the world! So, are you in?
- Dr. Nefario: [popping a party favor] Whoo-hoo!
- Gru: Uh, yeah, probably.
- El Macho: Probably?
- Gru: [nervously making his way to the exit] I mean, yes. Yes. Of course, yes. I just have a lot going on right now. I just need to get some things off my plate before we start taking over the world, that's all.
- El Macho: Excuse me?
- Gru: No, no, forget it. 100% I am in. I think... what is... do you hear that? I do. That's Agnes calling me from on the surface.
- [the elevator doors close, then open again, revealing him frantically pushing the floor buttons]
- Gru: Totally in.
- El Macho: [to Dr. Nefario as the doors close again] Do you know what? I'm not so convinced that he is in.
- El Macho: You have not lost your touch, my friend.
- Gru: Aha! I knew it. You are El Macho.
- El Macho: That's right!
- Gru: Nobody believed me! Ho, ho. But I knew you weren't dead.
- El Macho: Of course not. I merely faked my death. But now, it's time for me... to make a spectacular return to evil. Doctor, I think it's time we showed Gru what we're up to here.
- Gru: Dr. Nefario?
- Dr. Nefario: Nice to see you, Gru.
- Gru: Wha... so this is your new job opportunity?
- Dr. Nefario: Absolutely. You're gonna like this.
- El Macho: [revealing one of the Minions] Sorry. I had to borrow some of your minions, but it was for a worthy cause.
- Gru: Ooh. Kevin. Ugh.
- El Macho: No, he's not Kevin anymore. Now he is an indestructible, mindless killing machine.
- El Macho: One push of this button, and I send that rocket straight in the same volcano where I faked my death, only this time... It's for real.
- Gru: [horrified] No!
- Dave: [swings on a vine like Tarzan and snatches the remote from El Macho's hands] Tally ho!
- [hits the roof support and drops the remote which hits three minions on their heads and on the ground]