Paul Rudd: Darren

Sausage Party

Darren

Barry: [as the food prepares to fire the drugged toothpicks] Make it rain.
[the food shoots the toothpicks at all the people in the store]
Darren: Ow! What the fuck? All right, who did it? Gary, did you just throw this fucking toothpick at me, man?

Douche: [sees Frank] Oh, so now you're gonna come at me, bro?
Frank: Oh, I'm coming at you!
[prepares to punch him. But Darren tries to grabs Frank]
Douche: Okay, we got him. Easy now, easy now.
Darren: Well, it's hard when your head's up my ass and you're yanking on the scrote!
Douche: Look, sausage... I relish the fact that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me!
[to Mustard, Ketchup and Relish]
Douche: Yeah, that's right, shut your mouths.
[to Frank, cackling]
Douche: I sucked a juice box's dick, and I'm shoved up a God's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro!
[takes a bite of his torso, Frank screaming in pain]
Brenda: [gasps, shocked] Oh, my God! FRANK!
Douche: I'll tell you who eats shit: Gods do, bro... I'M A FUCKING GOD!
Darren: Good-bye, little sausage.
[prepares to kill Frank]

Darren: Wait, Snap out of it, man! Slap it! Slap yourself in the face, man! Oh, man! You lost your mind? Is this even? No, wait! This isn't real! Now, this can't be real!
Douche: Oh, it's real, bro.
[Darren reacts, points to douche with a gun]
Darren: [gasps in horror] A talking douche?
Douche: It's cool, bro. Chill, okay?
Darren: No, no, no! This is too much, this is too much! Too much! Breathe, man!
Douche: We both want the same thing... Like, I'm feeling honestly the two of us could like collaborate together. Like a mash up, bro.
Darren: A mash-up? I don't understand! What's happening?
Douche: You don't need to understand.
[getting inside of his crotch]
Douche: You just need to relax and open wide.
Darren: Wait, what are you doing?
[He got inside of his crotch, groaning]
Douche: Oh, yeah!
Darren: Dude, that went up my ass!

Douche: [while being rocketed across the floor, panics] What's happening out there?
Barry: NOW!
[the food does a U-turn on Darren and Douche]
Coconut Milk: [flips the bird] SO LONG, ASSHOLE!
[Lavash and Sammy are holding matches, light the tanks on fire and the tanks explode]
Douche, Darren: NO!
[the tanks shoot up to the sky, killing both Darren and Douche]
Barry: It's over. We won. WE FUCKING WON!

Camille Toh: Hi, I um... Sorry. I accidentally dropped a few things back there. Except for that douche, I don't know whose that is.
Darren: Clean up on Aisle 2, this MILF dropped a douche.
Camille Toh: Ah, Milf. Thank you so much.