Jack Black: Po

Kung Fu Panda Holiday

Po: This is a disaster. I'm going to disappoint everyone. My dad, the Furious Five, Shifu...
Wo Hop: And me. I'm not dead yet.

Mr. Ping: Think of all those lonely people who don't have anyone to spend the holiday with. There's always room for one more at Mister Ping's
Po: Look, dad, I understand how you care for the lonely people...
Mr. Ping: And lonely people pay extra.

Po: Bunny! Finally, a real chef! Look, sorry I banished you and shamed your village for all eternity, but if you could help me chop carrots, it would really...
Wo Hop: I'm not here to chop carrots. I'm here to fight.
Po: What?
Wo Hop: The only way to restore honor to me and my village is to fight the Dragon Warrior. Surely I will perish, but that is the fate I must accept.

Po: I got that, dad.
Mr. Ping: Po? Oh, you came! Oh, Po, I'm... I'm sorry I made you feel so guilty.
Po: Ah, don't be. That's what the holiday's all about. Now, don't we have some cooking to do?

Po: Every feast, my dad and I spend all day cooking together. And the whole neighborhood shows up. And it gets really loud and crazy, and my Uncle Yang ends up laughing so hard noodles spurt out his nose.
Crane: I'd like to see that.
Monkey: Me too.

Shifu: I've come to talk to you about the Winter Feast at the Jade Palace. You will be...
Po: [with excitement] Be coming? The Winter Feast with the kung fu masters from all the provinces?
Shifu: No, Po, you will not be invited. You will be hosting.
Po: Me? Hosting?
Shifu: Wonderful news, is it not? As the Dragon Warrior, this is one of your most critical duties.
Po: Wow! Thank you, Shifu.
Shifu: Po, this is a big opportunity for you. Your first time with all the kung fu masters.
Po: The Winter Feast is legendary! I'll bet you got the best, biggest, brightest sun lanterns and dancing...
Shifu: Po. Stop. Stop. This is the Winter Feast. It is perfection. Always elegant. Always formal.
Po: Awesome. Awesome. I'm all about elegant. Fancy stuff and fine dinin'.
[pause]
Shifu: You have some noodle on your neck fat. What I'm saying, Po, is dancing and sun lanterns, those are common traditions.
Po: So common. I mean, dancing? Come on. Sun lanterns?
[in sing-song voice]
Po: Weak.
[turns to Mr. Ping]
Po: Dad, isn't this great?

Panicked Pig: Dragon Warrior! Please, come quickly! There are bandits at the bridge!
Po: What? I'm on it. See ya, Dad! Thanks again, Master Shifu!

Po: [joins the Furious Five in the fight] Hey, guys! You excited about the Winter Feast? Guess what? Master Shifu just told me I'll be joining you this year.
Crane: The feast is intense! All the Masters at one table!
Viper: For one perfect feast!
Mantis: It's an honor to be invited!
Po: Actually, I'm not just invited. I'm hosting!
[the Furious Five stops fighting]
Crane, Viper, Mantis, Monkey, Tigress: [in unison] What?
Boar: Wouldn't be my choice.
[Po headbutts the boar bandit]
Po: What?
Monkey: The feast at the palace is very...
Viper: Elegant.
Mantis: It's a very sophisticated event.
Po: Why does everyone think I can't do sophisticated?
[He K.O. the boar bandit by sitting on his neck]
Crane: I... have no idea.
Tigress: It's just that we think maybe you could use a little help.
Po: Tigress, I got this. It's a dinner. Eating, entertainment. How much do you have to know?