Grizzled Narrator (voice)
Weird Al
Doctor
Young Al
Dr. Demento
Mary
Nick
Salesman
Teenage Al
Kip
Robbie (as Andrew Hernandez)
Hipster Teen (as Paloma Rabinov)
Police Officer
Johnny Barf
Jonah Barf
Jeremy Barf
Jim
Steve
Bermuda
Captain Buffoon
Tony Scotti (as Al Yankovic)
Ben Scotti
Heckler
Sleazy MC
Mama Bear
Bartender
Pee-Wee Herman
Tiny Tim
Gallagher
Alice Cooper
Andy Warhol
Salvador Dali
Divine
Wolfman Jack
John Deacon
Security Guard (as Anthony Nanakornpanom)
Oprah Winfrey
Connie Chung
Pablo Escobar
Madonna
Waiter
Radio DJ
Cone-Bra Dancer #1
Cone-Bra Dancer #2
Terrorist Diner Patron
Kidnapper
Guard #1
Guard #2
Mariachi Band Member #1
Mariachi Band Member #2
Mariachi Band Member #3
Floor Manager
Diana Ross (as Trenyce Cobbins)
Hulk Hogan
Sicario
Man in Bathroom (uncredited)
Biker (uncredited)
Suii (uncredited)
Elton John (uncredited)
Paparazzi (uncredited)
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (uncredited)
Kate Pierson (uncredited)
Tough Biker #7 (uncredited)
David Bowie (uncredited)
Tough Biker #8 (uncredited)
Jebediah (the Amish) (uncredited)
Coolio (uncredited)