Cathy Weseluck credited as playing...
Spike
- Spike: Well, Twilight, guess it's up to you. Come on, show her what you're made of.
- Twilight Sparkle: [downplaying her magical talent] What do you mean? I'm nothing special.
- Spike: Yes, you are! You're better than her!
- Twilight Sparkle: I'm not better than anyone.
- Trixie: Hah! You think you're better than the Great and Powerful Trixie? You think you have more magical talent? Well, come on, show Trixie what you've got. Show us all.
- Twilight Sparkle: Who, me? I'm just your run of the mill citizen of Ponyville. No powerful magic here. I, uh... I think I hear my laundry calling. Sorry, gotta go.
- [she runs off]
- Spike: Twilight?
- Trixie: Ha! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria. Was there ever any doubt?
- Snips: The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquished an Ursa Major. Can your Twilight claim that?
- Spike: Oh really? Were you guys actually there?
- Snips: Well, eh, uh... no, but...
- Spike: But nothin'. The proof is in the pudding.
- Snails: [laughs] I like pudding.
- Spike: Look, unless an Ursa Major comes waltzing up the street for Trixie to vanquish, I am NOT gonna believe a word she says! And neither should you!
- Snips: Hmm! An ursa walkin' up the street, eh? Snails! Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
- Snails: Why is it they call it a flea market when they don't really sell fleas?
- Snips: Yeah, uh... oh, come on!
- Twilight Sparkle: Now, about you two...
- Snips: Uh,
- [nervous chuckle]
- Snips: We're sorry that we woke up the Ursa Minor.
- Snails: We just wanted to see some AWESOME MAGIC!
- Snips: Yeah! And the way you vanquished that Ursa Minor was... AWESOME!
- Snails: [Twilight gives them a disapproving look, the colts hang their heads] We deserve whatever punishment you give us.
- Twilight Sparkle: For starters, you can clean up this mess. And... What do you think, Spike? Should I give them number twenty-five?
- Spike: Oh, twenty five! Yes! And I think I deserve it, too.
- Snips, Snails: Huh?
- Twilight Sparkle: I think you're right.
- Snips, Snails, Spike: [three magical pops, they all have moustaches] Sweet!
- Rarity: [Twilight's friends have had enough of Trixie showing off, and have been hinting that she needs to show up Trixie by saying "a unicorn" should face her] Enough. Enough, all of you. I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty and grace.
- Trixie: Ooo, what's the matter? Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?
- Rarity: Oh, it. Is. On! You may think you're tough with all of your so-called powers, but there's more to magic than your brutish ways. A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle.
- [Rarity takes some of the curtains off the stage and instantly turns them into a makeshift dress with a new hairstyle]
- Rarity: A unicorn needs to have style.
- Audience: Ooh!
- Rarity: A unicorn is not a unicorn without grace and beauty.
- [Trixie's horn begins to glow with magic]
- Spike: Rarity won't let Trixie get the best of her! She's strong, she's beautiful, she's -
- [a magical blast sound is heard off screen, and the audience gasps]
- Rarity: Quick! I need a mirror! Get me a mirror! What did she do to my hair? I know she did something terrible to my hair!
- Twilight Sparkle: Nothing.
- Rainbow Dash: It's fine.
- Applejack: It's gorgeous.
- Spike: It's green.
- [Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack glare at him]
- Spike: What?
- Rarity: [Rarity's new hairdo has been ruined to the point where it looks like a tall bird's nest with worms and branches sticking out of it] Ugh, no. Green hair! Not green hair!
- [cries, runs away]
- Rarity: Such an awful, awful color!
- [she runs past Golden Harvest, who today is wearing her hair green]
- Golden Harvest: Well, I never!