Raymond S. Persi credited as playing...
Gene • Zombie
- Clyde: Question, Ralph. We've been asking you to Bad-Anon for years now, and tonight you finally show up. Why is that?
- Wreck-It Ralph: I dunno, I just felt like coming. I mean, I suppose it has something to do with the fact that uh... well, today's the 30th anniversary of my game.
- Saitine: Happy anniversary, Ralph.
- Wreck-It Ralph: Thanks Satan.
- Saitine: Uh, it's "Saitine".
- Wreck-It Ralph: Got it. But here's the thing... I don't wanna be the bad guy anymore.
- [the Bad-Anon members gasp]
- Cyborg: You can't mess with the program, Ralph!
- M. Bison: You're not going Turbo, are you?
- Wreck-It Ralph: Turbo? No, I'm not going Turbo! Common guys! Is it "Turbo" to want a friend? Or a medal? Or a piece of pie every once and awhile? Is it "Turbo" to want more out of life?
- Zombie: Yes.
- Clyde: Ralph, Ralph, we get it. But we can't change who we are. The sooner you accept that, the better off your game and your life will be.
- Zangief: Hey, one game at a time, Ralph.
- Clyde: Now let's close out the with Bad Guy affirmation.
- Clyde, Saitine, Cyborg, M. Bison, Zombie, Zangief, Bad-Anon Members: I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be then me.
- Wreck-It Ralph: [enters the empty penthouse] Hello? Anybody home? Felix? Mary?
- Gene: [pouring himself a martini at the bar] Well, you actually went and did it.
- Wreck-It Ralph: Gene! Where is everybody?
- Gene: They're gone. After Felix went looking for you and then didn't come back, everyone panicked and abandoned ship.
- Wreck-It Ralph: But... but I'm here now.
- Gene: It's too late, Ralph. Litwak's pulling our plug in the morning.
- [he motions to the window; Ralph goes to the window and sees the "OUT OF ORDER" sign hung over the game console]
- Wreck-It Ralph: Oh!
- Gene: But never let it be said that I'm not a man of my word. The place is yours, Ralph. Enjoy.
- [Gene tosses the penthouse key to Ralph, then heads for the door]
- Wreck-It Ralph: Gene, wait! Wait! Listen, this is not what I wanted.
- Gene: Well, what did you want, Ralph?
- Wreck-It Ralph: I don't know, I just... I was just tired of living alone in the garbage.
- Gene: Well, now you can live alone in the penthouse.
- Wreck-It Ralph: Sometimes I think, man, it sure must be nice being the good guy.
- [Bad-Anon members applaud]
- Clyde: Nice share, Ralph. We've all felt what you're feeling and we've come to terms with it.
- Wreck-It Ralph: Really?
- Zangief: Right here. I'm Zangief, I'm bad guy.
- Bad-Anon Members: Hi Zangief.
- Zangief: I relate to you, Ralph. When I hit bottom, I was crushing man's skull like sparrow's egg, between my thighs... and I think, why you have to be so bad, Zangief? Why can't you be more like good guy? Then I have moment of clarity... if Zangief is good guy, who will crush man's skull like sparrow's eggs between thighs? And I say, Zangief you are bad guy, but this does not mean you are *bad* guy.
- [Bad-Anon members agree]
- Wreck-It Ralph: Right... I'm sorry, you lost me there.
- Zombie: Zombie! Bad guy!
- Wreck-It Ralph, Bad-Anon Members: Hi Zombie.
- Zombie: Zangief saying labels not make you happy. Good, bad, nggghhhh... you must love you.
- Cyborg: Yeah!
- [Performs a Heart-rip Fatality on Zombie]
- Cyborg: Inside here!
- Fix-It Felix: [after Ralph abandoned the game] Everyone calm down. Ralph probably fell asleep in the washroom of Tapper's again.
- [a tram pulls up]
- Fix-It Felix: See, here he is now.
- [Q*Bert hops out]
- Fix-It Felix: Why, it's Q*Bert! What brings you here, neighbor?
- Q*Bert: $;&?@#
- Gene: What's he saying, Felix?
- Fix-It Felix: Stand by. My Q*Bert-ese is a little rusty.
- [Felix and Q*Bert exchange rounds of Q*Bert-ese]
- Fix-It Felix: Ralph's gone Turbo?
- Fix-It Felix: Why, it's Q*Bert! What brings you here, neighbour?
- Q*Bert: [in Q*Berteze] I have some important news for you.
- Gene: [in English] What's he saying, Felix?
- Fix-It Felix: Stand by, my Q*Berteze is a little rusty.
- [in Q*Berteze]
- Fix-It Felix: What sort of news will you tell us, dear Q*Bert?
- Q*Bert: It's about Wreck-it Ralph.
- Fix-It Felix: Coming back from Tapper's?
- Q*Bert: I don't think he'll come back any time soon.
- Fix-It Felix: [gasps] What are you saying?
- Q*Bert: Ralph's gone Turbo!
- Fix-It Felix: [in English] Ralph's gone Turbo?
- [everyone gasps]
- Fix-It Felix: Well, I'll be dipped. You've really outdone yourself, Mary.
- Norwood: Oh, and look! There's all of us at the top.
- Mary: Each apartment is everyone's favorite flavor. Norwood's is red velvet.
- Norwood: Guilty!
- Mary: And lemon for Lucy, rum cake for Gene, and for Felix...
- [Ralph looks for his figurine, and finds himself in the mud, looking like some sort of deranged troll]
- Wreck-It Ralph: [His face sinks] Hey, Mary. Um... What's the flavor of that mud that I'm stuck in there?
- Mary: Hmm? Oh. Chocolate.
- Wreck-It Ralph: I've never been real fond of chocolate.
- Mary: Well, I did not know that.
- Wreck-It Ralph: One other little thing. I hate to be picky, but this angry little guy here...
- [Ralph picks up the little Ralph figurine. He puts him on the roof, smooshing the cake a little.]
- Mary: [shocked] My cake!
- Wreck-It Ralph: ...might be a lot happier if you put him up here with everyone else.
- [Ralph pushes an ugly smile onto his figurine's face]
- Wreck-It Ralph: See that? Look at that smile.
- Gene: No, no, no. You see, Ralph, there's no room for you up here.
- [Gene knocks Little Ralph back into the mud. Then Ralph chuckles]
- Wreck-It Ralph: Well, what about this? We can make room. Here. We can take turns. Easy.
- [Ralph puts Little Ralph back on top of the cake and slams Little Felix into the mud instead. The Nicelanders Gasped]
- Fix-It Felix: How about we just eat the cake!
- Gene: Hang on. Felix needs to be on the roof because he's about to get his medal!
- Wreck-It Ralph: Well, then how about we just take that medal and give it to Ralph for once. Would that be the end of the world, Gene?
- [Ralph rips the medal off, breaking the delicate fireworks, and puts it on little Ralph]
- Gene: [suspiciously] Now you're just being ridiculous; only good guys win medals, and YOU sir are no good guy.
- Wreck-It Ralph: [angrily] I could be a good guy if I wanted to, and I could win a medal.
- Gene: Uh-huh. And when you do, come and talk to us.
- [Gene takes Ralph off the cake]
- Wreck-It Ralph: And then would you finally let me be on the top of the cake with you guys?
- Gene: If you won a medal, we'd let you live up here in the PENTHOUSE! But it will never happen, because you're just the bad guy who wrecks the building.
- [Gene took off Ralph's look and rips the medal off little Ralph, puts it on little Felix, and puts Felix back on the top]
- Wreck-It Ralph: No, I'm not.
- Gene: Yes, you are.
- Wreck-It Ralph: No, I'm NOT!
- [Ralph slams his fist down right on the cake. SMASH! Chunks of cake and frosting cover the Nicelanders. Pac-Man stops eating. His mouth falls open in shock]
- Gene: Yes, you are.
- Wreck-It Ralph: All right, Gene, you know what? I'm gonna win a medal. Oh I am gonna win a medal! The shiniest medal this place has ever seen. A medal so good that it will make Felix's medals wet their pants! And good night. Thank you for the party.
- [Ralph exits, smashing a hole in the other side of the door]
- Roy: Is he serious?
- Gene: Oh please, where is a Bad Guy gonna win a medal? Of course he's not serious.
- [Litwak hangs an OUT OF ORDER sign on the screen. The Nicelanders run out of the building and watch in horror as the sign eclipses the arcade light]
- Gene: Ladies and gentlemen, we're... out of order.
- Mary: Sweet mercy! Without Ralph, we're doomed!
- Roy: They're gonna pull our plug!
- [Everyone panicked and Felix forced positivity to the Nicelanders]
- Fix-It Felix: Okay, everybody, calm down. Ralph probably fell asleep in the washroom of Tapper's again.
- [They heard a bell ringing in the distance]
- Fix-It Felix: See? There he is now.