- Mr. Dink: You can't talk me into quitting before I've created the perfect website for cheese! I must be perfect. Perfect! Do you hear me? Perfect!
- Doug Funnie: Uh, sure Mr. Dink. And we could help you. We could stop going to school or playing sports or doing anything else anymore until you reach your goal of perfection. What do you think, Mr. Dink?
- Patti Mayonnaise: [to Doug] Is that a good idea?
- Doug Funnie: No more drawing, or playing the banjo, or going to Swirly's...
- Mr. Dink: What? That doesn't make sense. You can't give up the things you love. And you need to go to school! There's plenty of time to do everything if you just get organized and concentrate on one thing at a time.
- Doug Funnie: That's exactly what I was trying to tell YOU before!
- Mr. Dink: It was? Well, when I hear ME say it, it makes a lot more sense.
- Professor Quint: I've failed again.
- Quailman: Maybe you fail because you're always doing five things at once. Why is that, Professor Quint?
- Professor Quint: Why? Isn't it obvious? Because five is the perfect number! We all have five fingers on each hand, five toes on each foot. There are five senses. I was born on May fifth, and my wife was one of five quintuplets.
- [cutaway to the quintuplets]
- Professor Quint: Best musical grouping: quintet. Best Beethoven symphony: the fifth. Cards in draw poker: five! How do I love thee? Let me count the ways! Five! All that is perfect is in five. So I do everything in fives in my personal quest--some might call it an obsession--for the purity of perfection. And yet, I fail.
- Quailman: Maybe because you only have two hands. And besides, nobody's perfect.