Jesse Tyler Ferguson credited as playing...
Mitchell Pritchett
- Cameron Tucker: What else does it say?
- Mitchell Pritchett: [Reading from parenting blog] Well, this one says 'When my daughter bit her brother, I put a pinch of pepper in her mouth. She cried and cried, but she never bit again. Smiley face.'
- Cameron Tucker: Oh, well, the smiley face makes it okay. 'I waterboarded our toddler, LOL.'
- Mitchell Pritchett: Okay, I don't get it. Why is she biting? Lily, why are you biting?
- Cameron Tucker: She's not biting, she's teething.
- Mitchell Pritchett: On people! All right, if she starts biting her playdates, she's gonna be a pariah.
- Cameron Tucker: Try 'piranha'.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Really, Cam?
- Cameron Tucker: It was right there.
- Mitchell Pritchett: It's time to play everyone's favorite game.
- Cameron Tucker: Let's Blame the Gay Dads.
- Mitchell Pritchett: You know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.
- Cameron Tucker: Charles Manson.
- Mitchell Pritchett: Shall we go on?
- Cameron Tucker: Naomi Campbell.