Jason Segel credited as playing...
Marshall Eriksen
- Honey: My apartment building is so safe. My landlord even installed a security camera in my shower.
- Marshall Eriksen: Oh, honey...
- Honey: Maybe I should feel weird about giving a stranger my Social Security Number, but the guy's a Nigerian prince!
- Marshall Eriksen: Oh, honey...
- Honey: I just had a great TV audition... behind the KFC where the executive producer works on the weekend.
- Marshall Eriksen: Oh, honey...
- Lily Aldrin: We hate Ted now. Get on board or the sexting stops!
- Marshall Eriksen: Ted's a son of a bitch!
- Judy Eriksen: [Ted is trying to narrate his story to Marshall over the phone about him dropping Zoey as a friend, however Marshall's mother is listening in on another phone] Marshall, I'm going to Byerly's, you want anything?
- Marshall Eriksen: Mom, get off the phone!
- Marcus Eriksen: [from yet another phone] Could you get some more Bugles, please?
- Judy Eriksen: Of course, dear.
- Marshall Eriksen: Marcus, hang up! Both of you, HANG UP! And we need ice cream.