James Maslow credited as playing...
James Diamond
- James Diamond: Ha-ha-ha, that is so funny, Blonde Jennifer.
- Jennifer 2: James, I didn't say anything.
- James Diamond: Ha-ha. That's not important.
- [Kendall accuses his bandmates of not capable of understanding what he's going through unless they've experienced it for themselves]
- James Diamond: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
- Carlos Garcia: Another puppet show?
- James Diamond: No.
- Logan Mitchell: Oh.
- James Diamond: We all get girlfriends and then lose them "in an instant."
- Logan Mitchell: And then Kendall lets us in, and we cure him of his heartbreak, and Griffin gets his big time summer single.
- Carlos Garcia: LET'S GET OUR HEARTS BROKEN!
- James Diamond: Hey, listen, it has been great dating you, but here comes the awkward part.
- Jennifer 2: Right. Got it. I'm breaking up with you.
- James Diamond: Exactly! Heh-heh. Wait. What? It sounded like you said you're...
- Jennifer 3: Breaking up with you.
- James Diamond: No! No-no-no-no. You can't do that.
- Jennifer 1: That's what you wanted her to do.
- James Diamond: But I'm supposed to break up with HER. NO ONE DUMPS James Diamond! I've never been dumped!
- Jennifer 2: And... now you have.
- James Diamond: Ah! You ruined my perfect never-been-dumped record!
- Jennifer 2: Well, I've never been dumped either, and you're not ruining MY perfect record.
- James Diamond: Hey, I do things for YOU!
- Jennifer 3: Like what?
- James Diamond: I'll START doing things for you?