Neil Flynn credited as playing...
Mike Heck
- Frankie Heck: Wake up! Wake up!
- Mike Heck: Frankie, what's going on?
- Frankie Heck: Sue's got her period and there's a bear outside!
- Sue Heck: Mom!
- Axl Heck: Oh! What's with the screaming?
- Frankie Heck: There's a bear, and Sue got her period!
- Axl Heck: What?
- Frankie Heck: Run, run. Everybody get to car.
- [running]
- Frankie Heck: Bear! Bear! My daughter got her period! Everybody run! Run away!
- Mike Heck: Really, Sue, now?
- Sue Heck: I couldn't help it.
- Frankie Heck: It's a girl with her period! There have been studies! Make way!
- Sue Heck: Mom! You said you weren't gonna tell!
- Brick Heck: [as bear rocks car] We're all gonna die!
- Mike Heck: All right. Everyone quiet! I'll handle this.
- [to bear]
- Mike Heck: Hey!
- Frankie Heck: "Hey"? That won't even get the Glossners off our front lawn.
- Sue Heck: Axl chip-clipped my eye.
- Mike Heck: Axl!
- Sue Heck: It really hurts! But I left it on so you could see what he did to me.
- Axl Heck: It's her fault. I was aiming for her mouth, but she moved.
- Frankie Heck: Axl! What were you thinking? You could have really hurt your sister. And now the chips are gonna get stale!