Nick Kroll credited as playing...
Professor Poopypants
- Professor Poopypants: Hiyah class, I'm your cool new teacher, not some scary guy with a secret evil agenda
- George Beard: Your problem isn't that people laugh at you. Your problem is that you can't laugh at yourself.
- Professor Poopypants: Oh, really, Oprah? Is that my problem?
- Professor Poopypants: This is the brain of an average child. Right here is the Thinking-about-candy-lopolus. The Fear-of-what's-under-the-bed Lobe. This is the The-only-thing-I'll-eat-is-pizza,-chicken-nuggets-or-bottled-noodles Lobe. Right here is the As-soon-as-someone-else-has-a-toy-I-want-that-toy Anterior Lobe. And this, this is the Hahaguffawchuckleamalus. This funny little purple part holds our entire capacity for laughter. For years, I've tried to shrink it or cut it out entirely. But frustratingly our survival seems dependent upon it!
- Professor Poopypants: Hello! I was just, like, admiring the view from your... broken window, in the shape of a naked balding man!