Trey Parker credited as playing...
Eric Cartman • Stan Marsh
- Greeley Elementary Principal: Eric, at Greeley Elementary we do not tolerate students making fun of other students.
- Cartman: I wasn't making fun of anybody.
- Greeley Elementary Principal: [picks up paper and reads of it] A twenty-minute song and dance number, with 47 "Yo mama so poor" jokes directed at Jacob Hallery, which ended in a finale with fireworks
- Cartman: I was just teasing.
- Karen McCormick: Huh? Oh, it's you. I was wondering when you would appear, you always come when I'm sad.
- Kenny McCormick: You are going to be okay, Karen. You have to keep believing that!
- Karen McCormick: Why did my mommy and daddy go to jail?
- Kenny McCormick: ...Sometimes, people do stupid things. Sometimes they forget what should've come first. Until it's too late.
- Karen McCormick: But I'm all alone now!
- Kenny McCormick: You are not alone. No matter where you do, no matter where you go, I will always be there for you! Do you understand?
- Karen McCormick: I'll try, guardian angel.
- Kenny McCormick: Don't try, Karen. DO!
- Cartman: Oh, wow - poor people being arrested. What a rare occurrence! Ha, ha. Hey, Kenny! Kenny, wave! That's Kenny about to be sent to a foster home; pretty funny.
- [filming with a video camera as Kenny's parents are arrested and Kenny and his siblings are put in the back of a police car]
- Mr. Adams: Penn State prefers to be losing at halftime... because at Penn State, they like when you're a little behind in the locker room.