Chris Pratt credited as playing...
Andy Dwyer
- Ann Perkins: Leslie wishes she could be here herself to give you these presents, but she's suspended. Oh, and also, she said they're not from her, they're from Santa Claus.
- Andy Dwyer: Can I go first?
- [to camera; shows his framed gold record]
- Andy Dwyer: Mouserat: Certified gold! Over 100 copies sold in Pawnee! I need a picture of me holding this so I can frame it.
- Donna Meagle: Personalized leopard-printed robe, pink feather cuffs, and on the back in rhinestones,
- [turns around]
- Donna Meagle: "You Can Get It!"
- Tom Haverford: "I know you're sad you couldn't get tickets to the Watch the Throne tour, so I got you a watch and a tiny throne instead." And check it out, she even took out the dumb clock part and put this in:
- [shows text that says...]
- Tom Haverford: "Baller Time!"
- April Ludgate: [Holds up painting of her and the Black Eyed Peas' decapitated heads, with a shirtless Andy nearby] These are the Black Eyed Peas, and I finally killed them. It's a Christmas miracle.
- Ron Swanson: Every year, I give Leslie the same present I give everyone: a crisp 20 dollar bill. And every year, she gets me something thoughtful and personal. It makes me furious. This year, she outdid herself.
- [Presses a clicker that closes both of his office doors at once]
- Ron Swanson: She had it installed over the weekend. It's so...
- [starts crying]
- Ron Swanson: it's so beautiful.