Kirsten Vangsness credited as playing...
Penelope Garcia
- [last lines]
- Derek Morgan: Hi, Miss Thing. Enough is enough. It's time for you and me to have a little sit-down. What's going on with you? Half the time I call, I get your voicemail. When I do get you, I don't get even a little bit of sass coming my way. Now, what's the deal? Hello!
- Penelope Garcia: Okay. Look. I get it that men and women are different and Venus and Mars and all that stuff, but I do not understand how you...
- Derek Morgan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, pump your brakes. What is this about?
- Penelope Garcia: You were in my shower at 7:00 in the morning.
- Derek Morgan: Because I shower at 7:00 in the morning. Baby, you had a little too much to drink the other night. You called me to come over and keep you company.
- Penelope Garcia: I know. I remember that, but...
- Derek Morgan: Okay, what happened between us was popcorn, and a movie on TV, which you fell asleep in the middle of, by the way.
- Penelope Garcia: So, you slept on the...
- Derek Morgan: Couch.
- Penelope Garcia: Yes, you did. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you, God, for maintaining the integrity of my most beloved of friendships, and from now on, I promise only mostly the purest of mineral water will cross these lips.
- Kevin Lynch: [enters] Hey, plum sauce, are you coming?
- Penelope Garcia: Yes. I'll be right there.
- Kevin Lynch: Hey, Derek.
- Derek Morgan: Hey, what's up, man?
- Penelope Garcia: Since the fight, we have decided to have a standing date every Tuesday night.
- Derek Morgan: Good luck with that with this job. You got a great guy out there. You know that, right?
- Penelope Garcia: I know. What does a girl do when she has two great guys?
- Derek Morgan: She doesn't pour that extra glass of wine.
- Penelope Garcia: Yeah. Okay, love you, bye.
- Derek Morgan: Plum sauce?
- Penelope Garcia: [picks up a phone] If this is a sales call on a Sunday morning...
- Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Settle. It's me, JJ. I tried your cell. Listen, something's come up. You need to get down to the office pronto.
- Penelope Garcia: Oh, you are kidding.
- Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: I know. I wish psychopathic killers would be a little more respectful of our weekends, too, but what are you gonna do? Is everything okay?
- Penelope Garcia: No. Kevin and I got in a fight last night, and to self-soothe, I drank a lot of wine, and, JJ, you know I can't drink wine. Why did I drink so much wine?
- Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: You'll be fine.
- Penelope Garcia: No, I don't know. 'Cause right now, everything is blurring. Oh, my God. My hair hurts. How is that possible? He's coming out of the shower. I hate confrontation. It was such a fight. I hate confrontation.
- Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: Then don't confront. Just kiss, make up, and get your butt over here.
- Penelope Garcia: [ding-dong] What is this, Grand Central Station?
- [knock, knock]
- Penelope Garcia: Oh, God.
- [opens the door to find...]
- Penelope Garcia: Kevin.
- Kevin Lynch: I am so sorry about last night. I should not have stormed out like that.
- Penelope Garcia: You stormed out?
- Kevin Lynch: Yeah.
- Penelope Garcia: You stormed out all last night?
- Kevin Lynch: Yeah. What's...
- [Garcia closes the door and sees Morgan]
- Derek Morgan: Hey. You see we gotta go in, right?
- Penelope Garcia: Yes. Yes. JJ just called me, too. Let's go. My things. This is mine and this is mine and this is yours. This is mine. See you there.
- [opens the door, to Kevin]
- Penelope Garcia: Hey, let's go.
- Penelope Garcia: And that's why we were able to get a match on his prints so fast.
- Derek Morgan: You've always been fast, baby girl.
- Penelope Garcia: [freezes] Eh, yeah. Got to go!
- [hangs up]
- Penelope Garcia: [Rushes in late] Sorry, sorry
- [meeting goes on]
- Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: [whispers] How's the head?
- Penelope Garcia: [whispers back] Not all the aspirins in all the pharmacies...