Jim Parsons credited as playing...
Sheldon Cooper
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [Sheldon hands Amy a gift bag, as a token of apology; Amy isn't pleased at first] Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met. Do you really think that another transparently-manipu...
- [as soon as she takes it out, her tone and demeanor instantly change and she is practically singing]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: OHHH, IT'S A TIARA! A tiara! I have a tiara!
- [to Penny, talking quickly as she dashes around the room]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me! Put it on me!
- Penny: [helps her put it on] You... look... beautiful.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: [Yelling happily] OF COURSE I DO, I AM A PRINCESS AND THIS IS MY TIARA!
- [she turns, kisses, and embraces Sheldon and doesn't let go]
- Sheldon Cooper: [after he slowly, but not uncomfortably, puts his arms around her, to Penny straight-faced] You were right. A tiara was too much.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, a little Red Dead Redemption, huh
- Sheldon Cooper: [shown playing video game] Yes.
- Leonard Hofstadter: How come you're not doing a mission? You're just wandering around.
- Sheldon Cooper: I had a rough night, thought I'd go for a walk and clear my head.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Some people go outside and do that.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm gonna have a whiskey. Do you want anything?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No, I can't. I'm playing Grand Theft Auto later.
- Penny: Sheldon, what is wrong with you?
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, not much. Although, I can be faulted for being overly fond of koala bears. I don't know what it is. When they start munching on eucalyptus, I just melt inside.
- Sheldon Cooper: I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier we were just looking at at Sears.
- Penny: Oh, my God! Now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff.
- Sheldon Cooper: Coins lodged in body parts is not a source of amusement. When I was five, Billy Sparks put a Mexican Peso up my nose.
- Howard Wolowitz: How is that not amusing?
- Sheldon Cooper: It's still there. Takes me 45 minutes to get through airport security.
- Howard Wolowitz: Look, I made Sheldon disappear, tada!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Next time you should open with that.
- Penny: Sheldon, that pocket watch is ridiculous.
- Sheldon Cooper: Nonsense. I look like a train conductor.
- Penny: Well, if it isn't Pasadena's favorite new power couple, Shamy.
- Sheldon Cooper: [to Amy] And that is the answer to your question "what is wrong with going to the Cheesecake Factory?"
- Sheldon Cooper: [game character walks into saloon] I'll just go in this saloon and drink my troubles away.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You know... Digital alcohol is never a solution.
- Sheldon Cooper: Is this how you're going to entertain children, by lying to them?
- Howard Wolowitz: How is this lying?
- Sheldon Cooper: A magic show is an inherently deceitful proposition. "This is an ordinary tophat." "You've chosen that card freely." "I do not have a set of lock picks lodged in my keister."
- Raj Koothrappali: Can't you just enjoy the wonder, Sheldon? Why must you peek behind the curtain, or up the butt?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, Lord. A man steps out for a minute to empty his bowels and catch up on the latest adventures of the Caped Crusader, and returns to find that his apartment has transformed into a cabaret.