Tina Fey credited as playing...
Liz Lemon
- Liz Lemon: And why did you have to offend the gay community? It is the most organized of all the communities. They make the Japanese look like the Greeks!
- Tracy Jordan: How is what I said offensive, and that's not?
- Liz Lemon: Because no one heard me say it!
- Jack Donaghy: Lemon, obviously I can't approve of someone I've never met.
- Liz Lemon: Yeah, well, I'm not letting you meet Criss, because you won't approve of him.
- Jack Donaghy: Well, then, I guess this is a Catch-22. Although I don't know for sure, because I refuse to read literature that questions the morality of war.
- Tracy Jordan: The so-called idiot community will not be silenced.
- Liz Lemon: For God's sake, Tracy!
- Tracy Jordan: We are legion! We are America! Frat boys, DJs, loudmouth old bitches, investment bankers, the tramp-stamped, Parrotheads, anti-vaccination crusaders, and people who won't shut up about scuba diving!
- Jack Donaghy: I would like to ask you why Tracy is outside cursing this network with a megaphone.
- Liz Lemon: It's a good one, Jack. Tracy has organized a protest of NBC by his fellow idiots.
- Jack Donaghy: He what? Oh, no, no, no, we need idiots. You need idiots. Who do you think is watching your show?
- Liz Lemon: [hopefully] Funky tastemakers?
- Jack Donaghy: Look at this chart: black nerds, JetBlue passengers who fall asleep with the TV on, pets whose owners have died, and idiots. You need to fix this.
- Tracy Jordan: [voicemail message] Hi, this is Tracy's cell phone. Dotcom, hold the steering wheel, I need to leave my outgoing message. Oh my God, what did I just hit, was that a person? Is that paint or blood? Dotcom, this did not happen! We take this to our graves!
- [beep]
- Liz Lemon: Tracy, this is Liz Lemon, please call the office when you get the chance. As you pointed out, my extension spells out the word "anus" with an "I". Bye.
- [hangs up]